Monitor your child's behavior

As the school holiday has started and children are back home for an extended break, some parents face a myriad of challenges in ensuring their children's well-being and positive behaviour.

This period, spanning nearly two months, often reveals aspects of our children that may not be apparent during the school year. Parents must remain vigilant and proactive in understanding and addressing any behavioural issues that may arise. In the fast-changing world, a lot is happening around our children, and their vulnerability increases every day. It also calls for a parent’s attention and vigilance.

Every parent knows that children can display vastly different behaviours at home compared to school or in public. Some children, who appear angelic at home, may have disciplinary problems or even be involved in serious misconduct at school. This discrepancy can be startling and deeply concerning for parents who may feel blindsided by reports of their child's misbehaviour.

For some families, the challenges go beyond mere mischief. Issues like substance abuse, school expulsions, and a pattern of misconduct can strain relationships and undermine a child's future prospects.

The disconnect between a child's behaviour at home and outside scrutiny can lead to disbelief or even denial on the part of parents, who may find it difficult to reconcile the image of their child as they know them with reports from teachers and peers.

In such situations, it becomes imperative for parents to adopt a stance of informed vigilance. Rather than dismissing reports or defending their child unquestioningly, as a parent, take a proactive role in monitoring the child's activities and behaviour. This begins with open communication and a willingness to investigate any concerns raised by teachers, friends, or other reliable sources.

Here are some practical steps for monitoring your child this holiday that you can try and others that you may think about. These are not cast in a stone.

It is essential to engage in open and non-confrontational conversations with your child. Discuss the concerns raised about their behaviour and provide a safe space for them to share their perspective. It is crucial to balance firmness with empathy, ensuring that the child understands the seriousness of the situation without feeling alienated or attacked.

Seeking feedback from teachers, close friends, siblings or neighbours can also provide valuable insights into your child's behaviour outside the home environment. Their observations can help paint a more complete picture and guide your approach to addressing any issues constructively.

Assigning responsibilities and demanding accountability can be an effective strategy. By involving your child in household tasks or setting expectations for behaviour, you create opportunities for them to demonstrate responsibility and earn trust. This approach not only reinforces positive behaviour but also allows you to monitor their activities in a constructive manner. This may foster checks and balances in what they are doing.

Utilizing siblings or other trusted family members can further aid in monitoring your child's behaviour, both at home and possibly even at school. You can ask siblings to also help monitor what this child does when you are not there, movements and actions, etc. provided they understand the purpose and they are willing not to reveal the information to the culprit. Cooperation among family members can provide additional perspectives and help maintain consistency in observing and addressing any behavioural issues.

Above all, maintaining open lines of communication and offering unconditional support are critical. Expressing concern and offering guidance in a loving and supportive manner can help foster trust and encourage positive change over time. Never give up on your child or stop talking to him/her. Your words and actions are like seeds planted, which, with patience and nurturing, will yield fruits and can lead to meaningful growth and positive outcomes for their children even after a long period of time. Therefore, your words are not a waste.

As parents navigate the complexities of monitoring their child's behaviour over the holiday season, it is essential to remain proactive, vigilant, and compassionate. These efforts not only nurture a positive home environment but also contribute to the long-term well-being and success of their children. In the journey of parenting, every effort to guide and support our children yields invaluable returns, shaping their character and future in profound ways.

Dickson Tumuramye, Executive director of Hope Regeneration Africa