Using Christmas time to solve conflicts as a family

In a family, conflicts can arise either between parents, parents and children, or between children themselves. If they are not well solved, they can escalate into serious troubles to the extent that parents can separate or divorce, and children may start fights all the time, which causes tension, in some situations, people who believe in witchcraft may practice it. We have heard of children or spouses who have murdered each other just because of unresolved conflicts.

Conflicts can start as small arguments and misunderstandings. Such occurrences in a family need immediate resolutions between the affected members. However, most people take them for granted and some keep the anger, which over time eats them up and causes emotional separation. This can escalate the situation and leave a big wound in your life. That is why effective and clear communication is essential.

Therefore, as we celebrate this Christmas, travel all the way from different places to our families to gather for Christmas celebrations, may we use this opportunity to seek peace and harmony with one another.

Conflicts could be healthy in a family setting because they help you to check your behavior, understand people's reactions, improve communication, build trust and strengthen relationships, create time for some people to heal after expressing their anger and emotions, can identify dysfunctional areas in a family and if addressed well, they can bring cohesion and positive change, and can enhance problem-solving skills if well handled. It may not be easy to address your conflict with any family member, especially when you are innocent. But for the sake of peace for yourself and other family members, an action to bring harmony must be done. Look for good ways of expressing your conflict and do it in a way that all parties end up happy. But yes, ensure you solve those issues.

Therefore, we should focus on conflict resolution in a family. This could be done through the following ways during this Christmas season:

It may not be easy to address your conflict with any family member, especially when you are innocent. But for the sake of peace for yourself and other family members, an action to bring harmony must be done.

Many times people don't talk to or face each other during conflicts. It breaks communication channels. This is why it is important to sit down this season and discuss any issues bothering you and communicate them to everybody that matters. During the time of resolving the conflict, both parties must listen to each other and understand the source of the conflict. Be willing to express yourselves without causing tension or escalating the negative situation. None should be judgmental or biased because this could hinder getting solutions to the conflicts and can cause more harm. Where you need clarification, feel free to do it without confrontation.

Conflicts can cause disunity among family members. This is why you need to be intentional to address any conflict and resolve it.

If members feel they can't resolve their issues in a certain environment, then be willing as family members to look for a conducive environment that allows freedom of expression, and speaking out. Also, get someone that is neutral to chair the resolution moment. It may not necessarily be formal or in a meeting setting. But whichever way its done, the involved parties should feel comfortable with the environment and someone overseeing the resolutions. Sometimes you be innocent but you choose peace with that family member or between families. It doesn't cause harm to apologize to the other party and seek for forgiveness. This brings healing to yourself. Even if the other party doesn't forgive you, you will have done your party. However, its human to forgive someone who has voluntarily sought forgiveness. Let both parties in a family be willing to forgive and mend their hearts.

Dickson Tumuramye, Executive Director - Hope Regeneration Africa.