Why you need to see a counsellor

What you need to know:

  • Early this year, a friend of mine called Suubi (not real name) was recovering from a relationship issue originating from an extra marital affair his beautiful wife had with her workmate.

Sometimes it’s hard to know when you need help. But if you feel like you are struggling to cope with life, your emotions, or are feeling like you’re not able to enjoy life, then it’s time to reach out and ask for help.

It’s okay to not be okay.

Early this year, a friend of mine called Suubi (not real name) was recovering from a relationship issue originating from an extra marital affair his beautiful wife had with her workmate.

As friends close to the couple, we all believed that the young couple’s relationship was back to its best and looked like they were enjoying their honeymoon all over again.

However, in May we were shocked to learn that Suubi had had a mental breakdown on a bus as he returned from work upcountry when he heard the sound of a call waiting tone on another passenger’s phone. Right now, you may be asking how a call waiting tone can lead to a mental breakdown.

Suubi once mentioned to one of his colleagues that every time he called his wife her phone was busy.

This meant that Ssubi associated the call waiting tone to cheating.

Every time he heard that sound it brought strong emotions and depression to a point where he could not handle it any more.

This shows that you are just a trigger away from having a mental breakdown. If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or any other mental health issue, counselling can help. Counselling is not just for people with problems, it’s for anyone who wants to live their best life. But how do you know that you need to see counsellor?

If you have had a personal issue you have shared with a friend which has been burdening you then, you need a counsellor.

Also, if you are having difficulty regulating your emotions, you surely need a counsellor. We all feel sad, anxious, or angry at some point in our lives but it is important to pay attention to how intensely you feel these emotions.

A decrease in performance at work or school is a common sign among those struggling with psychological or emotional issues. Mental health issues can impair attention, concentration, memory, energy, and can result in an apathy which saps the enjoyment from work or even the drive to work and study.

Experiencing changes or disruptions in sleep or appetite. An individual who is anxious or in a manic state may have sleeplessness, while someone who is severely depressed might sleep all the time.

Also, struggling to build and maintain relationships even when you try to smile with everyone next to you or attend social gatherings. Mental health issues might lead a person to pull back from those who are close to them. Those who have a history of physical or sexual abuse that they haven’t fully recovered from can also hugely benefit from counselling. A 2018 survey by Ministry of Gender, Labour and Social Development indicated that of 18 to 24-year-old Ugandans, one in three girls (35 percent) and one in six boys (17 percent) reported experiencing sexual violence during their childhoods.

Additionally, if you no longer enjoy activities you typically did. People struggling with psychological or emotional issues often feel disconnected or alienated from life.

Overcoming grief of any kind can be a long and painful process, especially if you have no one to share that emotional burden with. The ordeal is twice as difficult for those who experience significant losses in a short span of time.

Further, if your physical health has taken a hit it may be a sign you need to see a counsellor. We don’t give mental health the same kind of attention as physical health and that is a huge mistake given that they are interconnected.  Mental health issues such as stress, anxiety and depression have both direct and indirect effects on our physical health.

When under mental or emotional stress, we turn to things that are rewarding, numbing, distracting or destructive to cope — which explains why substance use and sex are often used as coping mechanisms. In the short term, substance use can temporarily help alleviate unwanted feelings like hopelessness, anxiety, irritability, and negative thoughts. But in the long run, it exacerbates these difficulties and often leads to abuse or dependence.

If you have managed to discover that you have at least one of the above 10 signs then you need to see a counsellor.

Innocent Lawrence Okima

Professional social worker specialising in counselling psychology.