How 17-year-old Grace Gonza is parenting her nine siblings

In the remote village of Bulalaka, nestled within Tirinyi sub-county in Kibuku district, unfolds the tragic and compelling story of ten children left to fend for themselves. Their plight began amidst unrelenting domestic disputes, culminating in their abandonment by both parents.

At the center of this heart-wrenching saga is Grace Gonza, a 17-year-old girl who has sacrificed her dreams and future to ensure that her siblings survive.

Gonza, the eldest among her siblings, was forced to drop out of school to care for them after their parents walked out of their lives.

Until then, she had been a Primary Six pupil at Kalampete Primary School. However, for the past year, she has been at home, overwhelmed by the immense responsibility of raising her brothers and sisters.

“My siblings need me. It is painful to see them cry for food yet sometimes I am not able to provide. It is hard to get food. Every morning, we ask if someone needs labour to dig in their gardens and we offer ourselves. If we get money, we buy flour and eat kalo (millet bread). If we don’t get money, we go to bed hungry. The younger children cry a lot because of hunger but there is nothing to do. I comfort them,” Gonza recounts, her voice laden with the weight of her burdens.

The youngest child is one and a half years old. Beyond food, healthcare presents another formidable challenge to the teenager. Whenever one of the younger children falls ill, she takes them to the government health facility. However, more often than not, the facility does not have the required medication.

“The doctor prescribes the medicine and if I have money, I buy it from a drug shop in the trading centre. However, if I do not have money, we wait for the sickness to disappear. Sometimes, I gather herbs from the bush and use them as a cure,” she says.

Gonza’s meagre income from gardening is also used to buy scholastic materials for her siblings.
However, she often struggles to raise enough to cover their school fees and other necessities.

The genesis of trouble
Esther Naisubi, the children’s aunt, says their father walked out of his home following disagreements with their mother. Their father, Sam Mukebezi, left in January last year. The mother, Aidah Nambayo, hung on for four months before abandoning her children in June.

“I thought my brother had gone away on a business trip but until now, he has never returned. I do not know where he is. Whenever I call his mobile phone, it is always off. I visit them once a month because my home is in another village,” she says.

Naisubi, a 38-year-old single mother who was abandoned by her children’s father, stresses that she cannot take care of her 10 nieces and nephews. She will only come to live with them if a well-wisher decides to help them.

“Honestly, our father did not give us much, especially when it came to food and school fees when he was still living with us. My parents used to quarrel and fight a lot. There was no peace between them. I could not stop their quarrels. Whenever I tried to separate them, they would beat me instead,” Gonza recalls.

The teenager says she was informed that her mother lives in Kadenge village, Kaderuna sub-county in Budaka district. However, the children do not have the transport fare to visit her.

“Our grandmother lives on the other side of this village and does not want to know about our plight. She tells people that she does not care whether we go hungry. She also refused to tell us where our father is,” Gonza says.

The family home is a semi-permanent home in a deplorable state. Currently, the iron sheets are falling off posing a threat to the children’s lives. They sleep on papyrus mats and cover themselves with rags.

“During the rainy season, things were so bad. The wind would blow off some of the iron sheets. Sometimes, the children would run and take shelter at a neighbour’s home. One time, an iron sheet cut some of the children and they had to be taken to hospital. Those children are living like orphans,” Naisubi says.

When Monitor asks the teenager how she has managed to resist the temptation to enter an early marriage to avoid the heavy burden on her, she is steadfast in her determination.

“I am broken. I feel bad. There are many children. I have taken on a responsibility I cannot manage. Every day, I wake up and wonder where to find food for these children. But, I am all they have,” Gonza says.

Domestic violence on the rise
Intimate partner violence has ripple and long-lasting effects on children, trapping them in confusion, despair, emotional pain, and dire need. In Gonza’s case, the burden of care for her siblings has robbed her of her youth.
Charles Namba, the district councillor for Tirinyi sub-county, says it is fairly common for couples to leave their homes and abandon their offspring in his community.

“Usually, the fathers are the first to leave the home, and when the responsibilities of feeding, educating, and offering healthcare for the children become too much for the mother, she also walks away. As a leader, there is little I can do for Gonza and her siblings. They need financial and material support which is beyond my level of leadership,” he says.

Namba, who says he recently discovered the Gonza’s and her siblings’ plight, adds that the government and non-governmental organisations must help such families.

“It is a pity that that girl is planning for the home. She is the father and mother and has to provide uniforms, books, and pens for those children. She cannot provide for ten children. My fellow leaders and I can only contribute to restoring the roof of their home, but for the rest, we need our members of parliament to help us,” he explains.

Pushing the responsibility far from himself, Namba calls on cultural and religious leaders to talk to parents about not abandoning their children. When pressed, he says he tries to talk about the issue at public functions in the sub-country.

“When some men decide that they have many children, they abandon their families and move to the trading centres. There, they get new women and start new families. I call on the public to contribute food, clothes, and security to these children. Nowadays, there are bad vices in society such as child sacrifice that these children need to be protected from,” Namba stresses.

Moses Mweraguzo, the senior probation and social welfare officer for Kibuku district, criticised the local leaders, saying his office has not yet been informed of the unfortunate children’s situation.

“I blame this state of affairs on the ignorance and negligence of the local leaders in that locality. Bulalaka village has an LC1 vice chairperson who is responsible for children’s affairs. They also have a women’s leader. At the sub-county level, there is a community development officer who is supposed to report such cases to me, but he has not,” he says.

Mweraguzo adds that parish chiefs are also charged with overseeing the affairs in the sub-county, but these officers have not addressed Gonza and her siblings’ plight.

“Where was the case registered so that I can make a follow-up? It is unfortunate that the children also do not know where to seek redress,” he laments.

Despite the overwhelming odds, Grace remains determined to fend for herself and her siblings. Although she would like to go back to school, for now, she has put her dreams on hold.

“If I saw my mother today, I would beg her to come back home and look after the children so that I can attend school,” she says.

As the community rallies for intervention, the calls for stronger support systems to protect vulnerable children like Gonza and her siblings grow louder. Until then, the teenager hopes that a Good Samaritan will offer a lifeline to help the family escape their dire straits.

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