I am a Christian feminist - Rev Canon Diana Nkesiga
Canon Nkesiga says today, women have opportunities and access, but does not know
if they have the right attitude. PHOTO | WALTWER MWESIGYE
What you need to know:
- In an in-depth conversation, Reverend Canon Mirembe Diana Barlow Nkesiga, one of the first women to be ordained by the Church of Uganda, shares recollections of a childhood steeped in the vibrant colours of farm life, unexpected challenges amid political upheavals, and a deeply personal journey towards Christian leadership and theology. She spoke to Walter Mwesigye about her evolution from a shy child into a confident leader and the moments that shaped her identity.
Tell us about your background.
I am Mirembe Barlow, born to Mary and Hugo Barlow. Diana is my middle name. When I was born, I weighed over five kilograms. No one had seen a baby that big at Mulago Hospital before. I grew up on the Makerere University Agricultural Research Institute Kabanyolo. My childhood was a fairytale with cows, pigs, chicken, and turkeys on the farm. There were a number of nationalities living on the farm. I attended Nakasero Primary School.
When did you notice that you were a leader?
I am the second born of my parents but my older sister was asthmatic so I took on the leadership role. I do not remember playing with dolls, although we had them. I joined Gayaza High School for my secondary studies in 1974 and that is where I made a commitment to the Lord. I think that is where I got pushed into leadership. Some of my peers there were Grace Kalimuzo, Lorna Magara, Allen Kagina, and Beatrice Langa.
How did you find the early leadership in Christianity?
Sometimes, it is only in retrospect that you realise that you were pushed into leadership. When I joined Senior One 51 years ago, we were asked to nominate a class captain. We did not know each other. One girl asked what my name was. When I said Mirembe Barlow, she asked what kind of name that was. I told her I was also called Diana. When the teacher came back, she nominated me. Everyone knew me as Mirembe and they were shocked at this ‘Diana’ thing.
And the name stuck.
Yes, but the more I grow older, the more I appreciate my ‘Mirembe’ name.
What were your memorable experiences at the school?
Towards the end of 1985, I was an assistant chaplain at Gayaza High School and some of the girls I had mentored came to me and told me they had been sexually assaulted during the war. I was so angry. I asked God where He was in all this. I couldn’t even find a verse to comfort them. That is when I began to desire to study theology. I wanted to understand how to interpret the scripture to bring hope and comfort to people.
Canon Nkesiga with Walter Mwesigye during the interview.
What was your experience at Bishop Tucker Theological College?
We were about 20 in the class, and two of us were girls. The other girl was Reverend Florence Adong Omwony. I was the distraction. People asked how I could come from Gayaza to theological college. And I thought, does God only call those who have nowhere to go? I had been offered in Bank of Uganda but I did not take it up. Those debates went on during the three years of my study.
Did your parents back your decision?
On my father’s side, two of my aunts worked in the Bank of Uganda. Another one worked in the Ministry of Agriculture, while the others were a nurse and singer, respectively. However, my parents raised us to become whatever we wanted to be. I never really felt the pressure to become anything.
After theological college, I got married to Solomon. Now, they had a dilemma. Where do you put two clergy married to each other? They assigned us to Uganda Martyrs Seminary in Namugongo, but I was not ordained.
Someone asked how a woman can be a dean of studies and train men who are going to become reverends when she is not a reverend. I was very forthright, telling them I would only step down if I was incompetent.
How did you feel about this limitation?
I would have been ordained in 1989 but I was not. I was just given a certificate of ordination and made me a commissioned worker, which was lower than a lay reader. I had no voice in decision-making. That opened my eyes and I began to see it as an injustice.
Rev Canon Diana Nkesiga's parents on their wedding day. COURTESY PHOTO
Today, women have opportunities and access, but I do not know if they have the right attitude. I do a lot of counseling and I see that people still have a negative attitude towards women. That attitude is very subtle in the workplace. Today, emancipation is more of a fight. You have to keep saying, “I am here. Can’t you see me?”
What is the way forward?
We need to do something that accelerates mindset change because when women are given opportunities, sometimes the men are not sure of their place anymore.
Have we failed to allocate adequate time to our families?
I think people felt that they wanted to give their children everything and in the process, lost the value of our African culture of community. We no longer have time for storytelling and celebrating people because we live in a demanding world. A close-knit family has higher productivity than one where a woman is struggling with her husband and children.
My father was always present. I did not see him under pressure trying to make more money. I think that is what made us strong, confident women. At first, my mother was a stay-at-home mom. But when our last born joined Primary One, she went to work.
A few days ago, I had a conversation with young female lawyers and asked them why it was not OK for them to raise their children to a certain stage and then, enter the workforce. We have to think out of the box about how best we can care for the family, have strong marriages, and be a caring community.
Do you want to comment on how we have isolated ourselves in perimeter walls?
When we moved here (Pumla Retreat Centre) in 2006, I did not know anyone. I would wake up at 6 a.m., drive to All Saints Cathedral, and return at 10 p.m. My husband used to tease me, saying, “You live in a beautiful place but you do not enjoy it.”
But, when I took a sabbatical in 2017, I started meeting people and greeting them. They knew who I was. I did not know who they were. One of the reasons why we never fenced our land is that people pass through it when they are going to the village well.
Also, when you raise walls, everybody thinks you have gold on the other side. Yes, we have a forest here and I do have guards. When my husband was alive, no one encroached on that forest. But the moment he died, people started cutting down trees. That has been the only threat.
I think there is something about open spaces. You have conversations with people. When you are up at the altar, everyone says, “Oh, can we ever get to speak is there, can you ever get to speak to her?” But now people are saying, “Wow! We sit with you in the congregation. You are funny. We can talk to you.” It draws people to you.
How should the church engage with modern gender discourse?
I am a Christian feminist, a biblical feminist. But there are words like headship, and submissiveness, that have been misinterpreted. Someone thinks for you to be submissive, you have to be nothing. I do not want to become a man. I want to remain a woman. That is why I put feminine touches on my clerical clothing. I do not wear gray and blue like male clergy do.
I think things need to be redefined. What is leadership? What is submission? What does it mean for the man to be the head of the home? And why wouldn't I submit if my husband treats me with respect and love?
If you could give one piece of advice to women and young girls, what would it be?
We have an intrinsic gift in us to nurture people yet we forget to nurture ourselves. We need to treat ourselves with value and dignity and the rest of the world will fall in place. The world will acknowledge you once they see your impact and your influence.
