Atanansi Ssemuju, a victim of domestic violence. PHOTO/JENNIFER KABAALE
|Shattered vows: How a Papal Knight lost everything to an abusive spouse
What you need to know:
- Despite building a life together, their marriage soured after she abandoned their faith, turned their home into a drinking den, and physically abused him.
- The situation escalated to court, where Ssemujju sought a divorce and the return of his stolen assets and three missing children.
Atanansi Ssemujju has spent more than 10 years in a contentious relationship with an abusive spouse. After years of animosity, the couple has been advised in court to seek a divorce. However, how did the couple get here, and how do many men end up in situations of abuse with no seeming end in sight? Jennifer Kabaale explores the situation.
At 48, Atanansi Ssemujju should be planning to enjoy his evening years, basking in the wealth that he has worked for all his life. However, the father of five spends his days mooning in his empty home, hoping that his errant wife, Annett Namubiru, will change her ways and return to him.
The resident of Kibwa-Nabweru North Cell, in Nansana Division, Wakiso District, is a carpenter by profession. The deeply religious man is a member of the Papal Knights, a group of outstanding lay Catholics who demonstrate dedication to the Church. His hope is to find a lawyer who can help him recover the money and property that his wife stole from him when she left their marital home. She also took their three younger children, and he does not know where they are.
Love story gone sour
The two met in 1997 at the Catholic Religious Institute of the Brothers of St Charles Lwanga, locally known as the Bannakarooli Congregation in Kiteredde, Kyotera District.
"My mother brought me to the Congregation in 1978, when I was two years old, after my uncle had murdered my father in a property wrangle. I grew up in the Mother House and I did not complete my education," he says.
However, the Brothers facilitated Ssemujju to pursue training in carpentry. When he was 20, Bro Anatoli Wasswa brought Namubiru to the Congregation to work as a cook. Although he knew nothing of her background, Ssemujju fell in love with her.
"I did not have friends at the time. I had never been able to sustain a friendship. When we spoke, I concluded that this is a woman I could live with. By 1998, she was pregnant. However, I had been taken to St Mary’s National Major Seminary Ggaba to complete my studies," Ssemujju recalls.
Ssemujju’s mother and siblings tried to dissuade him from forming an alliance with the woman carrying his first child. However, their pleas fell on deaf ears. Instead, he took Namubiru back to her family home in Masaka District and requested her family to look after her until he returned.
"As a carpenter in the congregation, I was not allowed to cohabit with a woman. We had to get married. Eventually, in 2001, I left the congregation, picked her from her parents’ home, and we travelled to Kampala. I had saved about Shs2 million from my carpentry work," he says.
The young couple rented a room in Banda Town, in Nakawa Division. While Ssemujju soon found work as a carpenter, he opened a small shop for his wife. In 2002, they shifted to Bwaise Town, in Kawempe Division.
"In 2005, I bought this piece of land in Kibwa and I built our home. Instead of attaching a garage to the house, I built a large shop so that my wife could work at home. I asked her to bring her younger siblings to work in our home and in return, I would pay their school fees," he reminisces.
In the end, his wife brought seven of her siblings into their home, and Ssemujju educated them. Today, some of them are graduates. According to Ssemujju, their marriage was blissful at the time.
Trouble brews
Both Ssemujju and Namubiru were deeply religious and active members of the Catholic Church. While the carpenter was a Papal Knight, his wife was head of the laity in their local church in Kibwa.
"We came to the conclusion that we were living in sin and needed to set an example for the other Christians. On August 20, 2011, we were joined in Holy Matrimony at Our Lady of Sorrows Cathedral, Kitovu. The main celebrant was Bro Fr Anatoli," he says.
One year after their wedding, Namubiru reportedly threw away her ring and informed her husband that she had worn it in pretense. She did not love him. She wanted to enjoy her life. The couple stopped going to church together.
"She joined a group of wild women who would spend the whole day drinking alcohol. She began selling alcohol in the shop, and soon, the group, which now included men, used to drink in my home," he laments.
The couple had four children at the time, but by the time their fifth child came, their home had become a bar of sorts. Women would come from different townships and stay for days, getting drunk.
Physical and emotional abuse
In 2019, the abuse escalated into physical violence. "She began beating me, saying since I was so religious, I should ask my God to defend me from her. Under the influence of alcohol and drugs, she was a very strong woman. I couldn’t hit her back. I would just cry and ask her to stop," Ssemujju recalls.
His wife collected rent from their properties, but he never saw any of the money. At times, when she beat him, she would also bite him. His nieces, who lived with them, told him that she had begun selling herself to the highest bidder.
Seeking legal resolution
The couple went to Nabweru Chief Magistrate Court and were advised to pursue a divorce and division of their vast property. The magistrate issued an eviction order, forcing Namubiru out of their home. However, she has appealed the divorce decree.
"All I want are my three children that she took. I do not know where they are. I live with my two older children, both of whom have just graduated from Makerere University," he says.
GBV statistics (Men)
The Uganda Demographic and Health Survey 2022 indicated that 39 percent of men aged 15 to 49 have experienced physical violence since the age of 15. Meanwhile, the 2024 Police Crime Report recorded 14,073 cases of domestic violence, of whom 3,161 (22.5 percent) were male adults. The report further stresses that a total of 183 persons were killed as a result of aggravated domestic violence, of whom 82 were male adults.
Where should victims run for help?
In Uganda, Sauti-116, under the Ministry of Gender, Labour, and Social Development, offers counsellors who work 24/7 to receive calls from the public through a toll-free telephone service with the short-code 116.
The Uganda Police Child and Family Protection Unit (CFPU) also handles family-related matters and resolution of gender-based violence (GBV) cases.
Signs that a man is being abused
Lawyer and family rights activist Milly Nassolo Kikomeko explains that men experiencing abuse may show signs such as depression, inferiority complex, self-blame, isolation, excessive apologizing, and seeming generally unwell. She advises that early intervention is crucial in addressing male victims of domestic violence.
