Public display of affection must have limits
He planted a wet one right there next to my nose. I was in shock but not too shocked to miss the steel feel of his teeth pressing into my cheek as a generous serving of saliva perched itself on my face. It was for a micro second so there was no time to decide how to react. I stood there with a half-smile half-grimace.
I had run into him, an acquaintance on Kampala Road and I reached out for a handshake but he had instead quickly pulled me in for a hug and an extremely prolonged and unpleasantly wet peck. I was in shock not because I have never been pecked but usually it’s by people I know quite well not by acquaintances and not on Kampala Road, a place filled with boda boda and taxi touts who are always ready with a snide comment to throw at anyone who is even remotely provocatively dressed or God forbid has some wobbly body parts, let alone any kind of public display of affection between a man and a woman, however innocent it might be. So when the pecker had gone, a red-eyed taxi driver pouted black scaly lips at me and said, “Baby, even me I want kissi.”
This took me back to that night in the back of a taxi where a couple who couldn’t keep their hands off each other were at it, complete with ‘evil’ sounds. The rest of us in the taxi just looked straight ahead as if we would turn into stone if we dared to turn and look at them. It was a long ride home that night. No one turned around and patted those two on the back congratulating them on their love or lust, no one cooed ‘awww’ or thought of what was going on as sweet. It was plain uncomfortable and disgusting for the rest of us and if any of us was ‘man enough’, we would have thrown them out of the taxi. If it was a movie, it would probably be cute and cuddly but not in real life and most definitely not in Uganda in a rickety public vehicle riding over pot holes. Public display of affection must have limits. A light kiss is okay and even endearing to watch. Oh, but to be forced to watch full blown groping and gross imitations of French kisses, no way! Get a room already or go to another part of the world where culture allows for such display.
No, PDA is not entirely bad. In fact it is a bit suspect if there is zero display between two fully grown hot blooded adults who claim to have eyes for each other. Because really, why would a newly-wed couple shake hands as if in conclusion of a business deal when the man of God says, “You may now kiss the bride.” Too shy to kiss in front of your parents? Well that’s okay, at least hug.
As is with most things in life, judgment and moderation is key. Know when PDA is appropriate and when it’s outright disrespectful.
Please note that slapping random women’s behinds or forcefully hugging your workmates in a way that leaves them feeling ravished doesn’t count as PDA. It tends more towards public sexual harassment.
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