My husband drinks too much alcohol

Kiptor Ileet. As the saying goes, alcohol is the mother of all evil. Evidently, he has the sense to navigate the car back home but strangely he cannot remember how it all went. It is an evasive tactic to prevent you from digging out the rot. He is either cheating on you or has other things going on that he does not want you to know about.

Jatho Richard. What have you done to him that made him opt for companion from friends other than you? Remember simple differences in marriage cause big disagreements. Be very careful not to lose his trust completely. Work on your marriage before it is too late.

Wante Davis Samuel. How old is your husband? What is his HIV status and how many children do you have? What is his source of income? For how long has he been taking alcohol? Does he still have the capacity to satisfy you sexually? You should also remember that the main challenge men face is inability to make love consequently resorting to consuming excess quantities of alcohol.

David Mukasa. He needs to be reviewed by a psychiatrist. There are also many factors that may be contributing to his over consumption of alcohol including your attitude towards him, ineffective conjugal performance, kind of friends he may be hanging out with, serious work challenges and may be having married you for convenience despite having someone he truly loves in mind. You can only ably allow him open up about the cause of his drinking through consulting a psychiatrist.

Ainebyona Zacch. Jesus is the answer. Do not get tired of praying for him. God will restore his life and do not be shy to talk to him about it and how dangerous it is, but in a peaceful manner.

Enid Kahubire. Women do not turn men into alcoholics as a number of people are suggesting. It starts slowly and gets worse. As long as he is not violent, try to handle it but make sure you ask him to create a permanent investment for you and the children. Good luck

Phoebe Miriam. That is dangerous. A man who over drinks and forgets could sleep with random women and forget or ram his car into a stationary truck. Pray for him and go for counselling together. His life is in danger and he needs urgent assistance.

Nasasira Katrina. There is a luganda saying, omutamivu tabaaga mbwa (meaning a drunkard will not slaughter a dog). My dear, the way your husband comes home instead of going to the neighbour’s place, is the same way he remembers being rude to you. He just uses it as an excuse for you to think he is drunk yet he is doing all that on purpose. Be careful and protect your children as well. He might end up causing harm and denying any of it.

Nampa Patience Natie. You could try asking an elder to intervene by talking to him. On the other hand, you could record him when he gets back in that state and show him when he is in a clear state of mind so that he can easily see how alcohol affects him. Please pray about it too.

Onzima Rashid. Do not worry. If he goes drinking, join him and drink yourself silly so that the following morning both of you will be asking who brought the other home. If this does not wake him up, i do not know what will.

Denis Kajungu. Most men drink heavily in order to forget problems at home.
I know if am drunk I will sleep and wake up early to be at work instead of coming home early and being grilled like I am in a court room.

Ricky Otema. Since he used to drink from home, you might have scared him, the reason he now drinks with friends. Maybe you used to nag him about even the little alcohol he would take at home and you slowly pushed him to the bar. Sometimes you should check your own reactions towards him that made him change into this other person.

counsellor’s say>

Talk to your husband

Dear Anonymous, it is indeed not easy to deal with someone else’s problem, especially if they do not realise that they need help. Most alcoholics think they will be in control when they are starting to drink but with time they become addicted and it takes a lot of effort to take them off the alcohol.
It is also important for you to know that it is very hard to change another person but rather be in control of yourself. At this point in time, you seem to be taking in someone else’s problem but as a matter of fact, your husband should be the one to carry his problem.
You need to talk to him at a time he is sober in a calm non confronting way to help him realise the danger that is ahead of him and how wasted his life will be if he does not stop drinking. You can also involve a neutral person he can trust such as a therapist.
Generally, confronting a person with a problem may bring more chaos but talking to the person in a polite and calm way would always help them realise that they are helpless and that they need you.

Evelyn Kharono Lufafa, counselling psychologist, Talk Therapy Uganda

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