If Ugandans could pick a thing from Princess Katrina...

Princess, please give us a signal tulumbe!

PEOPLE’S PRINCESS: Remember that moment when her Luganda was not lugandaring but she was outside? The princess is outside. If Bobi Wine wanted to take the ghetto to the Parliament, the princess is taking royalty to the people. She is demystifying this thing. And that is a big threat to the power that is people. That is a big threat to all those that belong to the so-called ‘high classes’ in Uganda.

The poor tend to get lost in optics. I guess, when you lack something, you try hard to cover it up. Those unsettled in their riches will use every moment to remind everyone about their latest car, or the city they travelled to. It takes such a long time for one to settle into wealth and royalty. And Ugandans, they struggle with settling in.

Of course, it is good for the economy. For the marketers, it is easy to market to people with self-esteem issues. You can always sell them belonging, sell them validation. What better validation than going for a concert and having some special ground gazetted as ‘VIP’. For those few hours, Ugandans find that which they lack, something to fill the emptiness in their soul.

That also explains the sirens during peak hours. Do not think of those buzzing sirens as people rushing somewhere. Think of them as a longing to fill a void. For that moment, as they speed past and look at their fellow Ugandans, that fills a void. And humans we have always longing for this, to think of ourselves as belonging to another class. Same reason people keep retreating to their former schools, it is a search for belonging.

Yours truly thought through and decided to sever ties with my former school. I paid school fees; they gave me a formation. That was all to the relationship. I need not find a sticker to place all over my third-hand car and claim to be some SHACKIST or UMOSAN. Wait, I dropped the titles. I have no voids to fill in that aspect anymore. That is why I feel no more need for a VIP ticket. To mean what in those few hours? Other than the security aspect on Ugandan concerts, there is never a difference. But hey, Ugandans wish to be admired by those of the ‘lower class.’

The lower class will always exist simply because those that claim to belong to a higher class must find validation. The lower class validates the higher class. Explains why the Elite School scared the old guards. Wait, what right does that school have to shoot as high as other schools? What right do they have to bring a helicopter? But enough for this philosophical flutter. Let us talk about our sweet subject, Princess Katrina Sarah Ssangalyambogo.

This princess, aka Uganda’s people princess, is causing waves without lifting a finger. Remember that moment when her Luganda was not lugandaring but she was outside? The princess is outside. If Bobi Wine wanted to take the ghetto to the Parliament, the princess is taking royalty to the people. She is demystifying this thing. And that is a big threat to the power that is people. That is a big threat to all those that belong to the so-called ‘high classes’ in Uganda. Although I do not believe there are any Ugandans worthy of that term. Class and Uganda do not exist, it is all a mirage. But for the sake of flow, let us assume class exists.

This princess comes, the minutest of make-up, she is outside, she is being normal and she is saying; ‘people let’s live.’ Let us give up on this thing of showing up a certain way, let us just be humans after all. But then, there are people that survive purely on optics. Think of the TV anchors, think of your social media personalities, think of everyone that appears to be rich in Uganda.

The rich are few in Uganda, the wealthy extremely rare. I have only chanced on one or two wealthy people in Uganda. But there is that floating middle class, that lives for optics, hits a deal here and there, buys a dream car and then puts up a show. Invests in good photography and makes it appear that everything is well. The people’s princess comes and sweeps all that away. She says, ‘let’s stop putting up the show, let us stop the performance.’

The princess’ message is clear; ‘people I am not going to perform, can we all stop performing.’ And that has scared many people. Because everyone is just performing. Why is the princess in the ordinary section? Why is she wearing an ordinary shoe? Why is she comfortable in her melanin? Why is she hanging around with commoners? Wait, why is she on Tiktok doing normal people things? Why is she smiling just like us?

She is our revolutionary. She cannot be compared. Because that would be an insult. You know those people who say I guess Bebe Cool is the Lil Pazzo of Jamaica. That kind of thing. Because I would have said, maybe she is our Princess Diana. But no, she is here in her own right, her own version, her own way to things. Just being Ssangalyambogo, aka the Buffalo horn.

As our leader in this struggle against the performance, we are just waiting for a signal. Princess, please give us a signal tulumbe! If it is road-side chicken, we shall walk and get it. If it is a rolex, we shall get it in its original form. Those of us against this life of performance. The people’s princess has dismantled the structure. The corporates must be whizzing in anger. Nga those people know how to ‘perform’, to appear to be something they are not. Have you seen them in their bu-tents at Blankets and Wine. The People’s Princess, we need a name for our movement. Something like; ‘the bantu nsolo revolutionaries against scripted lives.’

By the way, this is Part One…

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