The couple says although misundersyandings will always be there, praying together as a couple will help you find solutions. Photos | Gloria Irankunda
Moses Wmemaho and Ruth Kakwezi had been members of a prayer and counselling ministry under St Francis Chapel, Makerere. While they had been friends for a while, in 2019, during a retreat to Nangabo Prayer Mountain in Kasangati, Kampala, their bond grew.
Although they did not talk for long that day, they shared contacts and kept in touch and despite Ruth being in another relationship at the time, she had developed feelings for Moses.
“As a friend, she confided in me about the issues she was having in her relationship. But because I had feelings for her, I prayed to God and asked Him to help me show her that I was the right man for her,” Moses shares.
Sharedvalues
And during one of their many WhatsApp chats in 2020, Moses opened up and told Ruth he wanted to marry her. Thankfully, she had also developed intense feelings for him and so, they agreed to start dating.
This courtship helped them discover a lot, especially the fact that they had several things in common, which enriched their relationship. For example, as they talked one day, they discovered their shared love for children.
To Moses, Ruth possessed most of the qualities he wanted in a partner. For instance, he had prayed to get a spouse who would be his prayer partner and Ruth is a gifted prayer warrior. He adds that one of his wishes was to marry from Tooro or Teso sub-regions, since most of his friends, who originate from these regions, have impeccable manners.
“They are humble, calm and genuine and since Ruth comes from Tooro, I knew I had hit the jackpot,” he says.
While Ruth was not specific on which tribe she wanted to marry from, she was certain her ideal partner must be God-fearing and of the same religion. This decision, she says, was informed by the fact that her parents were of different religions, which she did not like.
“I needed someone I could pray with, someone who understand God and had the same zeal for prayer and ministry as I did. Fortunately, Moses ticked all these boxes,” Ruth notes.
While they dated, Ruth realised Moses was generous and supportive. He helped people whenever they were in need even if they were strangers. He was also intentional about making her happy by always putting her needs before anything else.
“When my job contract ended in January 2023, he paid my rent and took care of me. I did not want to be an employee again but rather, venture into a business. He supported me in the business journey and with his support, my business has since grown,” Ruth explains.
Moses says his love for Ruth grew when she was truthful about her other relationship, which strengthened the foundation of their relationship.
Making it official
Moses met Ruth’s father at his home in Kikoni, Makerere, to ask for permission to marry his daughter. After reaching an agreement, a Kukyala was set for June 2023. He says meeting his father-in-law gave him a confidence boost while Ruth says it gave her more reasons to love Moses.
“My father is my role model and a good judge of character and so, I wanted his opinion about my relationship. Thankfully, his response was positive,” she says.
On September 24, 2023, Ruth introduced Moses to her family and friends at her ancestral home in Kyenjojo District in western Uganda. She says the day was memorable, even after her decorator used old décor and rusted chairs.
She is, however, thankful that it was a sunny day, making it easier for their guests to navigate the bumpy roads to her home. She also thankful to Moses and her family’s support throughout the preparations, which gave her peace of mind.
“I was jobless but Moses paid for my clothes, make-up, and the hair while an aunt, who is familiar with decoration, helped to adjust and make the decoration better,” Ruth says.
Moses says he was overwhelmed by support from his friends, family and workmates who provided bridal cars and travelled with him to Fort Portal City. Moses and Ruth wedded on September 30, 2023 at St Francis Chapel, Makerere, and held their reception at Rivonia Suites, Mbuya.
Lessons
Moses observes that marriage is lifetime commitment. He adds that although the devil will always be there to cause misunderstandings, prayer will help a couple always find a solution.
Ruth says marriage presents both beautiful and challenging situations. It calls for adjusting to the differences in character from both spouses and giving each other time.
“You learn on the job. Lowering one’s expectations is key since you are two different people from different backgrounds. Most importantly, seek God first even when looking for a partner because if it was not for prayer, I would not have met this wonderful man,” Ruth shares.
First year in marriage
Ruth and Moses are accountable to their mentors in their fellowship who are also married, something that has helped keep their marriage strong.
Ruth says the first year of marriage is beautiful because the spouses have butterflies for each other but challenging because they are now staying together and observing each other’s behaviours.
‘‘There will be arguments but then you realise most of these are useless. So, in case any of us finds something disorganised in the house, we clean up without waiting for the other to do it. We also do not go to bed angry,’’ Ruth says.
Moses adds that not everything needs to be responded to, ‘‘There are things that need you to be silent or require praying and fasting. It is not a straight journey, but it can be made beautiful with concerted efforts.’’
