Surviving Christmas as a couple
As the Christmas song goes, “it’s the most wonderful time of the year” (I know many of you sang that statement instead of reading it), After the year we have had, I know many of you were looking forward to the holiday season not for the usual festive cheer but rather so that 2020 can come to an end and bee line right for 2021.
The hectic year we have just had not withstanding, Christmas time can be quite difficult for couples too. Couples where one immerses themselves in the festive cheer and the other does not care, couples where you have differed views on how to celebrate, couples of different faiths, whose family to spend the holiday with or whether to spend them with family at all and etcetera.
Often, each one reasons differently in their preference could be past traumas, memories held dear, interactions with each other’s family and so on. The list is endlessly long, not to mention all that extra time together can put a strain on your relationship.
Every year, there is a huge spike in separation and divorce just after the Christmas holidays. A number of couples make the decision to part ways just days after watching Christmas movies and sharing really hearty meals with each other.
Christmas can also be very romantic and ideally, we would love to be splitting crackers and dancing to Christmas songs while we cook together with our partners but that is unfortunately usually very far from the reality.
So, before I drag this on perhaps, I should share my personal survival tips for loved ones. They generally apply but specifically for couples these should do the trick.
Most couples usually spend more time panicking about having the perfect Christmas as opposed to planning how to maximise on their quality time with each other. Plan what you can and do not fuss over what you are not able to accomplish. Just be glad you are going to be spending time with each other.
Another big stress about the holidays is spending. Financial matters always bring about contention. One might want to spend too much whereas the other just thinks they should be minimal with the Christmas spending. Make sure you have the money discussions as early as November. The spending bills on décor, presents and food can cause much undesired frustration between a couple and even some blow up arguments.
Dependent on what type of couple you are, I would say put your relationship/unit first. There is no rule in any book that says you must spend the actual day with your family. In fact I would suggest spending Christmas day with each other and finding a way to fit both your families into the schedule for Boxing Day.
Ask yourselves what you can do to stop things from getting out of hand during the holiday season and how best your relationship can survive without drowning in all the noise that comes with it.
Stay safe and happy holidays.
