It pays to keep tabs on your children’ friends

My classmate Amanda and I were preparing for our final advanced level exams and during a conversation, we came to one major conclusion.

Our mothers being single parents, the onus was upon each of us to score as highly as possible because the two dear women were not in position to pay our university tuition fees, if we did not get government sponsorship for our degree studies.

We, therefore, devised a plan to help us study as efficiently to earn government sponsorship. One of my children shared with me how he and his friends had purposed to be excellent students in their upcoming exams.

Another time, he told me about two specific friends who were encouraging him to pursue business even as young students. In both cases, I applauded them. I reached out and intentionally befriended his friends. Each time, I engaged them, I motivated them to be intentional about their future.

Every parent has a responsibility to know their children’s friends because at a certain age, friends impact children in ways we might never be able to measure.

In fact, there is a place where children’s friends have more impact on our children’s choices and decisions than we the parents. Selah!

Peer influence is as real as the air we breathe. It is contagious and its effect cannot be underestimated.

When I understood this reality, I started to be intentional about being friends with my children’s friends. I deposit into these friends fully aware that there will be a ripple effect on my children. I share jokes and valuable information with these friends.

My mentor said wise people lead others by influencing and capturing their hearts. Every leader should seek to have a depth of knowledge ahead of their team; live a patterned life - setting examples for those you lead; and live to add value to men. If I can influence my children’s friends with values and norms that promote and progress them, by extension, I have done the same for my own.

One writer put it this way, “do not be so deceived and misled.  Evil companionships/friends (communion, associations) deprave good manners and morals and character.” Bad friends will ruin good habits.

The kind of friends we keep, impact us directly and indirectly. They have the ability to grow or destroy us.

I pray for my children’s friends because by extension, I am praying for my children. By wisdom, I influence those that influence mine. It works wonders and it is deeply rewarding in many different ways.