My relationship deal breaker is...

Off-putting. Ever been attracted to this man so much but the more you got to know them, you are suddenly not so interested anymore? There are real deal breakers that can stop someone from carrying on with the relationship.Different women tell Promise Twinamukye what they consider deal breakers in a relationship.

Patricia Birungi

No one can read the other person’s mind

There is a list of deal breakers depending on the type of person you are dating. I got two major ones.

The first is abuse; whether it is physical or emotional, no one should tolerate any form of abuse in any relationship. I do not only mean man-woman relationship, but also siblings, parents, workplace, your neighbour and school.

Then, poor communication. No one can read the other person’s mind. There is no time to be a psychic. I do not understand why we cannot talk to each other and express how we feel without it turning into a new hit single. Excuse social media that messed us up with “online in-laws”.

But, we need to be able to speak to each other. Listen to understand not to reply. I have realised we listen to reply. We are ready to give any form of feedback in the heat of the moment.

 And I have learnt to take a step back, think, listen and then reply to whatever I have been confronted with. 

Patricia Akankwatsa

I cannot tolerate someone who abuses me

There are so many deal breakers I have but the most outstanding that  would end the relationship is abusive behaviour.  Any form of abuse, be it physical, verbal, emotional, or even financial, is unacceptable.

I cannot stand anyone who abuses me, belittles me, or even threatens to physically harm me. Abuse is such a deal breaker for me that even if as my partner you say derogatory things about other women, it is a ground for a break-up.

Esther

Uncaring and untrustworthy people deserve  hell

Uncaring people deserve hell. You literally found me “perfect” (looks and everything) and you want me to maintain that but you do not want be part of the process.

If you do not have trust, I do not know what kind of relationship you will be trying to build.

And then there are lies and pretence. I cannot deal with a man who pretends to be what he is not. If you are pretentious, you do not deserve my realness, and definitely not anybody else’s.

Flavia Nansubuga

Being so controlling is unbearable

Having a partner that is controlling is one of the biggest turn offs for me in a relationship.

One who wants to control your every movement, every penny you make, how you dress, they leave you feeling like you cannot decide on anything for yourself.

Many a time, he does all this I feel he is dishonest in his deeds behind your back. Instead of being your peace, they are the reason you instead gradually get demoralised.

One can be a little controlling, but not to the extent of dictating whatever the other person does.  This compromises the relationship.

Tebogo Moleya

Honesty and respect are key

Definitely a man who has a girlfriend but approaches me to be their partner is the biggest deal breaker. This, i think stems  from a dishonest partner, who would tell lies about everything. I prefer an honest partner.

I deserve a partner who will support me and be my best friend. One who will guide and help me become the best version of myself.  I need one who will respect women despite the circumstances they find themselves in. If my partner disrespects any other woman, it will not be long that they start disrespecting me.