DNA misuse, communication dominate marriage conference

Dr Evas Atwine, the CEO of International Centre for Mental Health and Family Life, said couples ought to understand that marriage is composed of two people with different personalities.

She said without appreciating this, couples end up clashing through silent treatment, guilt tripping, arguments, insulting or belittling and undue aggression.

“Powerful tools to help couples live in harmony include empathy, respect, active listening, avoiding bottling up emotions and speaking good things about each other,” Dr Atwine said.

“The emotion of anger is important because it helps you know when you are mistreated, but we need to manage it. We have seen what anger does, people kill their partners because they are angry,” he said.

The marriage conference was officiated by the Archbishop of Kampala, The Most Rev. Paul Ssemogerere who asked church leaders to organise counselling sessions for married couples to encourage them to resolve their family issues before situations escalate.

“I would advise the fathers of the church to always sit together, understand, collaborate, talk about issues, so that the challenges can be addressed, and sometimes solved,” the Archbishop said.

Justice Mike Chibita, Supreme Court Judge who doubles as the President of Bible Society of Uganda said DNA misuse is a root cause of domestic violence yet it is not provided for under the law.

He called for the need to create legal frameworks that can guide couples before conducting DNA tests.

He said that there should be a legal mechanism before people do a DNA test for the protection of the vulnerable members of the family.

“Parents may decide to do a DNA test and unfortunately find out that the children are not for the man and they are left at home vulnerable,” he said.

He added: “There are situations where the men find out the children are not theirs and they come back and hurt the children and sometimes end up killing them.”

“Previously, we did not need a law because not many people were doing DNA tests and the facilities were not there.”

One of the key elements needed before a DNA test, Justice Chibita noted, is counselling the couples.

Mr Paul Bosson, the chairperson of the marriage conference steering committee, asked the participants to take on the message and teachings from the conference to fix family issues in their marriages as they advocate for how a Christian marriage should be.

In an interactive session between couples and panelists, marriage challenges like managing finances and property, writing of wills before death, grounds for divorce, safety for a discordant marriage, and setting purpose for marriages were discussed.

Among the frequently asked questions by the participants was property sharing after the death of one of the spouses.

According to the 2019/2020 Uganda National Household Survey (UNHS) conducted by the Uganda Bureau of Statistics (UBOS), 57 percent of all women and men above 18 years of age are married in monogamous unions.

The survey however indicates that women are more likely to be divorced than men (28 percent versus six percent). The research also indicates that about 13 percent of the females are married in polygamous relationships.