This is how a ‘tech mzee’ will live in Uganda by 2035

Recently, reflecting on the perils of Covid-19 and the scenarios that see us being plagued by even more viruses in the years to come, I declared a strong intention I have held privately – to have a chip implant.

I would love to have an implant, synched with my phone, or Wi-Fi-enabled that tells me that a virus-infected person is approaching, or I have been infected so I cannot harm those I love and live closely with it. I also see a lot of possibilities for devices implanted as false teeth, that would warn me of an approaching car driving hazardously; alerting me of an authorized access to my computers; or an earthquake. 

I have thought about writing a science fiction book, in which we have political-mood implants, that hover up social media and other digital sentiment, and warn if for example, the government is getting murderous and is going to send security officers out to abduct people in “drones” and torture them. Those of us who are cowardly, would then run away and hide, until things have calmed down. I might still write the book.

My confession at wanting to be a limited cyborg didn’t go down well. Dear friends and social media acquaintances wrote in asking if I was okay; why I was “having suicidal thoughts”; and what come over me to make me take a strange flight into a dystopian technoverse.

However, this is not dystopian. In Africa, we will be the first generation of elders/wazee for who this is the reality. We are already partially there with smart watches. Among others, mine for one is set to report the heartbeat and, in these Covid times, whether my breathing is abnormal. Because of having to still wear a face mask, the most active alert on the watch are the alert to breathe properly.
 
The limitation has been that it can’t quite report blood pressure. I was therefore over the moon a few days ago to read that Apple’s next smart watch upgrade will report blood pressure and have another naughty but powerful feature – a fertility alert. 

There hasn’t been much literature on it, but I imagine the smart watch can aggregate the vitals of a fine young woman looking to be a mother and tell her – or send a message – that; “Madam, it is time. Go home now and try for that baby”, with a wink emoji to go with it.

But, more seriously, it is because of the changes that have started to happen in sections of African societies, like they have in the west and parts of Asia, like Japan.  While Africa’s population is crazily young compared to the world, the older folks are living longer.

Very many of our generation who chose to have families and children, had very few – two or three at most. When you have three children, the likelihood that one of them will be at hand to help you in your old age, is much lower than our grandparents who had 12. 

The children are also more global, and for the generation of parents before us, a record number of them became scattered in the diaspora. We are more urban than our parents, and if we chose to live up-country, there is no more a surplus of nephews and nieces in the village whom you can informally adopt to look after you in old age.

Tech, not poor relatives or children, is going to be our minder. Those AI-operated showers, toilets, sensor-filled floors that ping your doctor or child in another part of the world when you fall, the autogenerated order of your medicine when it runs out, that is going to be us.

Four years ago, I was listening to a BBC programme on how robots would be future companions (husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, or just housemates) to people living in isolation with no family or friends. The programme opened to callers just as we drove by the Kasubi Tombs. The first caller, by coincidence, was from Kampala. He was very angry and thought the idea of a robot companion was the height of madness. 

Hard to break it to him. That horse bolted from the stable long ago. Japan has one of the world’s oldest prisoners. That is mostly because they are lonely. So, old Japanese commit crimes (steal something, for example), then go and report to the Police (with the stolen goods) that they are the thieves. They are delighted to be thrown in jail, because they have company, playing “mweso” and cards with other old people. They even resist release.

They are among the world leaders in using robot companions, and other tech for the old and lonely. Welcome to Uganda 2035. My virus implant would look very old fashioned and primitive in that Uganda.

Mr Onyango-Obbo is a journalist, 
writer and curator of the “Wall of Great Africans”. Twitter@cobbo3