Common Sense: Why we sometimes don’t understand women

Whoever came up with this Valentine’s nonsense really hated men a great deal. Their hatred must have been deep, the kind some political candidates have for each other. I’m not mentioning names. Somehow February 14th is a day designed in such a way that all the love a man has for his woman has to be manifested on that day and that day alone. Failure to do that and your year has kicked off on a sour note with your partner. How sad for us the men folk!

Today’s man is facing momentous challenges. For example if you didn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with your loved one, you could be looking at nights in the dog’s kennel for some time to come. If you forgot to celebrate her birthday, you’re treated like a rebel in your own house!

This is what I don’t understand about our women (and no I’m not ranting about them). Let’s use yesterday’s Valentine’s Day as an example. February 14th comes at a time when many are struggling financially. Many men out there would have paid millions in school fees for their children who would have gone back to school towards the end of January. Before January, there was that big money drainer called “festive period.” This means that for many, from December straight to January, the bank accounts have been on overdrive.

But somehow the woman never seems to notice that. If they do they will ignore it and instead add to your misery by throwing anecdotes at you of how they expect the heavens come Valentine’s. But where do they expect us to get the money from? I have paid the school fees, paid the rent, taken you to the village for Christmas where I gave money to your entire village, bought you a Christmas present, bought for the children Christmas presents, and you still expect more gifts come Valentine’s? Is that fair? Why can’t you cut me some slack? How? By ignoring days like Valentine’s!

Today’s society’s definition of a man is the person who has to do everything for the woman and family. This “everything” can stretch to even paying for the minutest of things like her pedicure bill. Somehow society has pigeonholed a man to represent moneybags. It’s this caricature that has young girls wondering whether you have a “ride” before they can even think of dating you. It’s this kind of mentality that has women insisting on exaggerated kwanjula ceremonies (introduction ceremonies) mainly funded by the man.

I know that our forefathers provided literally everything for their women and family. They did all the hustle and bustle while their woman looked after the young ones. But there is one big difference between that woman of those times and today’s woman. And the difference is scary. Those women of yesteryears were obedient. What do I mean by that? They listened to what their man said and followed it to the T. Nowadays women’s disobedience has been camouflaged to mean “women’s rights!” What “rights” when I’m the one paying for everything including your women’s night out? What a fallacy.

Secondly those women were very understanding. What do I mean by that? If for example, (imagining that they celebrated Valentine’s in those days) you told her that you wouldn’t get anything on Valentine’s Day, there were no hissy fits thrown around with ultimatums reminding you of how crappy you are as a man, no! That lot was made of mature women.

Those women were appreciative too. If for example you bought for the child a pair of shorts, they would treat such a gesture with all the warmth they can muster. Now, today’s woman’s warmth only lasts till she sees her friend’s child wearing the same kind of shorts her child is wearing, only that her friend’s child’s shorts have cartoons on them! That’s it. The moaning will kick in… “Honey I want those same shorts, the ones that Carol’s children normally put on.” So what happened to the ones I bought? What happened to appreciating what you have?

Yes times have changed and today’s man too has evolved. And many, not so nicely. Many men out there are practically useless. And they deserve all the moaning and grieve their women give them. But this is what I would want from some women. Instead of moaning about me not taking you on a holiday in Dubai, why don’t you stress me about completing the building of the family house? Instead of frowning because I did not get you roses yesterday, why not quiz me about the delay in buying a plot of land I was supposed to have purchased months ago? Why don’t you lose your head when it comes to serious matters and not trivial issues?
Do I sound like a male chauvinistic pig that you would love to slaughter? To some women, I bet I do. But that’s not what I want to put across. Women, this is what we men moan about you in bars. Actually what I have scratched is just the surface. We won’t talk sex. That will be for another day. What most men have decided to do is ignore you and answer to your beck and call just to keep the peace.

I know that not all women are as nasty though. Many out there didn’t throw a fit when their men came home yesterday with no funny roses in their arms. Many are content with travelling in a taxi until their husband gets a car despite the fact that her girlfriends all have cars. Many chip in financially even when the man insists otherwise. Many are angels. However many more are rogues that deserve to be taken away to some far off island, far away from planet earth.

Many stressed their better halves yesterday for not celebrating Valentine’s Day. Shame on you.

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