Is it really fair that she keeps bailing you out?
What you need to know:
Man talk. Confused, some women have gone to social media asking whether they are justified to be so angry that they considered not bailing these men out. Honestly though, how can men expect us to jump up everytime they get themselves into trouble we know nothing about?
Eugene Mugisha
This is tricky. If I’m a muyaye (rogue) and I’m always getting myself in all sorts of shenanigans, then I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point she gave up on me and left me to sort myself out.
Although, if it is a legitimate issue, really I would feel very lonesome if she left me to sort myself out when all I was working on was to get our family into a better situation.
Nevertheless, it shows good team work if she can stand by me. If she doesn’t, then it shows that I’m indeed guilty because even my own woman has left me to the dogs. But again, the context matters.
Ivan Okuda
She surely should bail you out, the same way a husband should bail his wife out when she is in conflict with the law. The first point of contact when we get into trouble is usually the spouse, parents and children, regardless of the nature of the offence.
Winnie Byanyima, the most awesome Ugandan woman alive, stood with Kizza Besigye, when he was accused of rape and terrorism. The Besigye-Byanyima case for me is the locus classics (as they say in Latin) on this question; it is the standard.
Andrew Wallace
Its only good manners to bail out a person you’re in a relationship with. But under normal circumstances, any man would prefer their girlfriend/wife to stay out of such business.
In fact, we would prefer they never get to know how many times we get in legal trouble. The last thing we need is another person interrogating us, trying to find out how we got ourselves in this mess in an attempt to resolve the problem.
If the woman is the interrogating type, then we don’t want her in our business. However, if she is the “resolve first then lecture later” type, then her help is very welcome.
Therefore, depending on the circumstances, we may let them in on what’s going on, but mainly for information’s sake, not necessarily to seek for a bail out.
Jamie
I would expect her to bail me out. I would expect her to be so concerned in the period before my bail comes through regardless how I got in the problems.
When a friend is in need or in danger, the first thing for anyone to do is to get the friend to safety and then everything else can come later. That’s what friends are for.
If a woman and a man are together and they cannot practice this basic tenet of a relationship, they are wasting time.
The guys
Jamie, the realist: 36. Married, father of three.
Benjie: 27, single
Ivan Okuda: 21, at University.
Eugene Mugisha: 29, the dating guru.
Andrew Wallace: Recently arried.
