Saturday August 2 2014

Isn’t submission a two-way street?


We are told to be submissive to our partners. However, some men have interpreted this to mean their decision is absolute. Surely even men should have some level of submission to their women, right?

Communication. That is the magic word. And we all know communication is a two way road and effective communication delivers compromise. A middle point. A mutual understanding. A point of convergence. An agreement or at least an agreement to disagree.

So where and what is the place of submission in this? Can submission still be a product of communication or it comes out of, “Do as I said and think right.” And yes, the lady or man at times, acting as hubby thinks right and desires? So, me thinks it is all but a question of communication, communication and EFFECTIVE communication.

Once that is there, then we don’t have to talk about submission but mutual understanding and may be, a mutual agreement to disagree. But wait, if communication delivers an agreement for one party to agree to be submissive...voila! We go!

Steven Tendo
First of all, the submission part of it sounds like it is Bible-based. Wondering if non Bible believers would have the same required of them That said however, we must also appreciate that many cultures around the world demand their women to be submissive.

Maybe it comes from the old days when it meant death not to listen to the leader of the hunting pack, who was usually male. Females would get thrown out of the whole mix and they’d starve.
Submission can be done without making the woman feel like a slave.

She doesn’t always have to be made to do stuff she hates mbu because she needs to submit. But also, if it is a couple and there’s a leader, and that leader is the man, well, the led should show some level of submission, especially to show that they trust the instincts of their man.

The problem with submission is if it is interpreted in one dimension.

A lot of life has established the man as the head of the family. That means he has the responsibility to make decisions, take the lead, give directions. But always, consult the woman who has an equal stake in the relationship.

So in effect, have power but knowing how to use it is more important. So if you are the kind of man that thinks submission means yours is the right and final decision, you have issues.

Submission is a too strong a word for use in matters of the heart, such as relationships and love.

But I am of the view that a car cannot have two drivers. A co-driver, yes, but not two drivers. Someone has to take the lead, and the other has to supplement that, by being supportive and helpful in decision making.

Naturally, the driver’s role falls upon the man. Whether he is willing to let his partner invade his turf is a personal thing, to some it is an ego thing.

Women shouldn’t expect their men to ‘submit’. They should aim towards making him pliable without making him feel like he has just lost his set of balls.

Being submissive is not entirely about agreeing to whatever decision your partner makes or admitting that you’re in the wrong.

There is more to it. I think being submissive is a behavior a woman can adopt just to massage her man’s Ego! It brings peace and life into any relationship! What she is doing essentially, is allowing her man to feel more like a man around her. The results are pleasant J!!
For men…well, submission to women does not come naturally in our DNA. Besides, submitting to her won’t make her feel more of a Woman so…It’s pointless. A little TLC every now and then probably will.

For us, It more to do with listening, understanding, working-with and agreeing with the women, not so much for submission.

But I also think It‘s quite stressful for any woman to keep her guard up all the time, trying to be right at all costs and always conflicting with ‘authority’ (her man).

It’s totally unnecessary if you ask me. The smart girls know how to remain happy ladies- relaxed under the umbrella of their femininity.