Staying home allowance, fine. 100 per cent. After all, you chose that she stays home. A top minister, I’m reliably informed, got another wife who was working with the UN in West Africa, but was not ready to resign and settle in Uganda.
He asked her to calculate her salary for the entire contract, gratuity etecetera and paid it to her so she could come and settle in Uganda and be his wife.
Here, he pays her what UN would be paying her. Now, that is what is up! Bottom line is that if you want her to stay home, pay her! Win win!
I do not really want a stay-home wife. That is why this is hard for me to fathom. A woman without an 8am to 5pm job, yes! I’d love that because it means she has control over her time but doesn’t sit at home, “wasting away”. That also means I’m not going to be paying her salary, allowance, or whatever the euphemism is.
We have an equal stake in the home so you can expect me to do my bits as you do yours. However, I will take care of her. Pamper her, if and when she needs money, she can have it, pay for vacations, buy gifts...whatever. But not as payment. Rather, simply because she is my wife.
Payment is okay as long as it is not monetary. Gifts and presents, travel surprises... are okay. I would also understand if she is a housewife who entirely depends on her man for finances. But even then, this payment is not because she stayed home and did the house work. It is an obligation. In fact, he is indebted to do so.
Otherwise, once your man accepts to pay you money for doing house chores, be very worried! You will have sold yourself short because then, how different will you be from a housemaid?
Does this mean that he can fire you if you do not do the chores to his satisfaction and pay another person to do them? Then again, what does it say about the woman who expects a payment for doing house chores? You can be guaranteed things are going to get really awkward ahead.
She might expect a bonus after a while, an increment, overtime and even grumble over a delayed payment. You cannot run a home like an organisation!
No sane man should accept such an arrangement. It’s a trap! You are going to start paying for more things that would have otherwise come as an obligation from your woman.
It would make sense if she was a stay-at-home wife, and that was a request from her husband, not her own solo decision. Then, she would be entitled to some form of compensation for what she gave up. But if she is working, hell no! In that case, the man too has a right to demand compensation for whatever he does around the house.
In the end, it all falls back to square one. She is a wife and a mother first, then everything else after. A wife is not paid for her work, which primarily covers taking care of her home. And her man.
Oh, just to stir the pot, wasn’t he required to pay something called dowry? If she gets antsy, let her remember that dowry thing. Hahahaha...
But why should he pay her in the first place? Unless this is what was agreed upon at the beginning, or he was paying her before as a housemaid then things got complicated (as they are wont to), I see no reason for a woman to expect payment from her man.
The relationship is not based on payment so any monies that exchange hands should be viewed as resources to grease the life the two people are living, not the condition for the two to stay together. I mean, what is the right amount a man can pay for sharing his life with a woman? Rhetorical question there.