Be assertive without being disrespectful

Being assertive is gold, it gives you career growth as well as productivity at work. However, some people are over-assertive and end up becoming arrogant or disrespectful. Here is how to be assertive without being arrogant:

Use a conversational tone
Ali Male, a counselling psychologist, notes that it is important for you to use a conversational tone, a calm though bold tone. When you use a high or loud tone, it could be interpreted as arrogance.
“Some people think speaking on top of their voices is being assertive, it instead makes the recipient think you are rude or disrespectful, it’s better to keep a low tone when discussing with your bosses or colleagues,” he adds.

Adopted use of open expressions
He says mind the way you express yourself while talking - our non verbal cues might be interpreted differently.
He says you should communicate without crossing arms or throwing them around aimlessly. In your communication, respect people around you and yourself.
Apologise where necessary
Boniface Wanja, a company director, notes that most assertive people think they are right all the time therefore may not apologise when they are wrong.
“It’s important to ask for forgiveness when you go wrong so that people can love to work with you.
You can not be right all the time. It is also important that you learn to give people time to express themselves other than interrupting conversations.
“An assertive person should be a good listener,” he adds.
Be respectful
Mary Namukose, the director of Darfur Ltd, notes that as you don’t want your rules and rights violated, don’t violate those of others.
She advises that you shouldn’t deliberately shut someone down or do anything that could hurt their feeling.
She says an assertive individual should respect all kinds of people without discrimination.
Attend group meeting
Counselling psychologist Male adds that you should attend group and office meetings without fail to show people that you value them and give each person a chance to talk and express themselves.
“Value yourself without stepping on someone’s toes, express your feelings clearly without giving someone a chance of thinking you are disrespectful. If you are to miss a meeting, have a good reason,” he adds.
He says you should fully engange in office work to show you are one of them but do not boss anyone.
Wanja says be honest because once people realise you are a liar, they will not believe in you. “You should be flexible at all time, allow your rights to be violated sometimes to calm a situation,” he says.
Namukose says you should ask for help where necessary other than blundering. She notes that most assertive people feel they are the final man therefore can’t have anyone help them which is a bad attitude.
Have an open mind that is eager to learn all the time. This will make you more knowledgeable and make people around you accept your assertiveness.

Do research before talking
Namukose says you need to be sure of what you are talking about, no one will believe in you if you insist on discussing unresearched information.
She adds that when involved in an argument, focus on the topic at hand without getting emotional.
Male empahsises that you should adopt an accommodative language even if you are the boss.