Unusual tricks women use to keep relationships

In modern Uganda, a marriage anniversary is attended by many; peers turn up to thank the woman in question for keeping her husband. Cameras flash and champagne bottles pop. However, in modern relationships, some young people are finding it hard to sustain a relationship even for a year.
Desperate to sustain it, some rush to church for deliverance, others to the media for sympathy. As such, some women have adopted ideas to keep their heartthrobs. Some of these are sweet, and others, mind-boggling.

Sex enhancement
Depending on tribe, some women do not take sex matters in regard to keeping a man and relationship interesting.

For example, some from Buganda are said to “visit the bush” which is considered a spice to intimacy while those from Western Uganda take bushera, fermented millet porridge believed to enhance a woman’s sexuality . For Shan Abdallah , a newly married, says some women advised her to apply honey before sex because it enables good performance in bed. She is uncomfortable to disclose the results. With the fading traditional Ssengas (aunts), commercial Ssengas have taken over to provide such services at a fee.

Bleaching
A stroll through downtown Kampala reveals a lot about skin lightening products sold in some of the cosmetic shops. I have heard some women say having a fairer skin is a way to a man’s heart.
“Women tend to bleach because of their husbands’ positive attitude towards light-skinned women. Even women who are chocolate skinned bleach. It is a stiff competition going on, “says Habib Musoke, a father of three.
Sununa Namuya, a student at Islamic University in Uganda, agrees with Musoke. “Men seem to prefer women of lighter complexion. If you have a brown co-wife, sometimes it might force you to bleach, to increase your chances.”

Charms
“Eki’nigeria, omusajja agwana mu chupa,” is part of the chorus by Harriet Kisakye in her famous song Ekinigeria in mid-2000. It literally means a man is kept in a bottle (by a woman). The song became popular on its release because its meaning is associated with women who engage in witchcraft to keep men in marriages hence the catchphrase ‘putting a man in the bottle.’
“I don’t believe in witchcraft but there are some women involved. My friend sought witchcraft because she could not conceive but it did not work,” admits Sarah. Margaret Ateenyi, a maid of 10 years experience, in different homes shares her experience.
“One of my bosses used to pound an assortment of leaves and tree bark to mix in her husband’s food before serving. She told her neighbour that it had worked because time came when the husband became more responsive tnd loving to her.”

Dress code
My new neighbour Jackie (not real name) was social but had one problem; indecent and seductive dress code. I later found out, it was one of her countless strategies to keep her man’s eyes from wandering to other pretty women in the neighbourhood.
“Some wear brightly coloured body hugging dresses, deep cleavage tops and sometimes see-through garments to attract the opposite sex,” says Musoke.
However, for Sarah, a Zambian married to a Ugandan, she is unhappy about the way some women go to extremes to please husbands.
“In Zambia, married women are not allowed to wear miniskirts, and see-through attires. When one does so, they are scorned. But in Uganda, it looks like married women are at liberty to wear body hugging attire, miniskirts, and the like.”

Pleasing husband’s relatives
Men are often seen in newspapers asking for advice about women mistreating their relatives. But for a woman who invests time in appeasing her husband’s relatives; it is a bonus which is meant to strengthen a marriage.
“Women tend to show care to their husbands’ relatives even if it is just to appease the husband. On the contrary, women will also want a husband to know their relatives to create close ties,” says Musoke. He says most times they (women) do it to seek sympathy if a husband is in wrong.
Sociologists say belief in witchcraft has more to do with value systems.
“Some religious and educated are entrenched in thgeir traditional rites and belief stystems,” says Margaret Kanenge , a social worker.
Whether these things work remains a mystery to men but also a secret to women.