Wedding meetings did not work for us

For how long have you been married now?
Brian: It is about five months now.

And how are you finding the marital institution so far?
Brian: So far so good. People normally tell me that I look the way I do now because my wife is taking good care of me.
Daphine: For now, things are perfect.

Let’s go back to the time you met.
Brian: I first met Daphine in 2013 at a basketball game I had gone to watch. Then, we had our first conversation. We met again at a mutual friend’s wedding where we had a conversation and I later took her phone contact.

How did things go on from there?
Brian: We transitioned to friends and I realised she could make a wife. She had everything I was looking for in a partner including beauty and a bubbly personality. One day, I decided that I was going to marry her. It is not that I had saved enough money. No! I planned to use resources within my means. My family members thought it was on short notice and advised me to push the wedding to next year. I told them it was possible only if they were willing to fund the whole event, which was something they could not do. So, I stuck to my initial plan.
Daphine: I also loved Brian’s sense of humour. He would make me laugh from time to time. I love smiling and Brian always finds something to keep me happy.

How long did you take planning for the event?
Daphine: About four months.

And your wedding eve. What did you do?
Brian: I met a couple of service providers and finalised a few things with them. Afterwards, I went to the barbershop to have a haircut.
Daphine: I visited the salon before retiring home to have a word with senga (paternal aunt), had prayers and enjoyed a sumptuous dinner before taking a rest.

Your wedding highlights…
Brian: God forbid but I always tell people that if I ever lost my wife, there will never be another wedding because it was too stressful to pull off. It is a tough thing to organise. That aside, the church service stood out for me because Pastor Robert Kayanja, the man I always admired, presided over the church service.
I was glad that his wife, Pastor Jessica Kayanja who is like another mother to me, helped with some things. She was very happy and kept smiling and cheering us up.
Daphine: I had two highlights, the exchange of vows and the white decoration impressed me.

So, how were you feeling during the service?
Brian: I was happy and not tensed up probably because we had rehearsed the previous day. I was only waiting for my wife who was a bit late yet I had advised her to go early but she did not comply. Daphine interjects: It was because I was delayed at the salon. The situation was beyond my control.
Daphine: I was at the salon early and I fault the hairstylist. That day, we were three brides who had to be worked on in turns. Despite the fact that I was there early, the stylist worked on the others first. And while I waited, I got calls that I was running late.
I was forced to leave without wearing makeup. I kept worrying that if I did not reach the church early, we would end up paying a fine of about 250,000, something Brian would not be happy about. You can imagine the state I was in. Despite the fact that I made it on time, I was annoyed but had to cool down. The service started at 1pm.

The disappointments on that day…
Brian: Power went off at the reception. The organising committee had to run up and down until they got a generator. Even with that, the lighting was dim.
Daphine: The power blackout left me disgruntled.

What went through your mind at the high table?
Brian: I kept thinking; what if someone who made a huge wedding contribution missed food unlike the one who did not? That bothered me.
Daphine: I was wondering if the guests had enough food.

You mentioned contributions earlier on. Which people funded the event?
Brian: Family members, friends and our savings.

How big was your entourage?
Brian: I had only my best man, Percy Rwandarugali. I did not want to hustle.
Daphine: I had four bridesmaids, a maid-of-honour, flower girl and two page boys.

Did you hold wedding meetings?
Brian: Yes, we did. About five of them. I decided not to hold so many as people do not like attending such meetings. We barely got any people on ours. Then, I resorted to talking to people individually and it worked. I think it is the best way of soliciting for funds rather than calling people to meetings.

What was the most stressful as you prepared for the event?
Brian: Every bit of it was stressful especially looking for the money. Someone would for instance pledge and not live to their promise or they would genuinely not have the money. I would really worry as the wedding day drew closer. However, Pastor Jessica Kayanja and my elder sister, Lydia Kyomuhendo kept telling me not to get stressed because everything would come to pass.

Daphine: Getting the ideal wedding gown. I had planned to hire from a friend who deals in bridal wear but three weeks to the event, I was told that the gown I preferred had been taken. I got angry because this was after doing fittings. I visited Sisters Bridal Boutique in town where I got one. However, Brian was not amused by the price of hiring the gown.

Why?
Brian: Shs 1.9m was a lot of money. I was bitter because I was trying so much to save for life after the wedding. You should not be running around after your wedding begging people for cash.

Did you go for premarital counselling?
Daphine: Yes, we did. I learnt that it is very important to know the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Another important thing is patience. You do not always have to jump to conclusions, always give things time.
Brian: Your personality does not have to change because you are married. If you love smiling, remain that way. But also, it is very important to be patient. Sometimes, one just needs to wait calmly for things to work out for the best.

Advice to newlyweds…
Brian: You have got to change the way you see things. For instance, why eat out and yet your wife prepared dinner?
Daphine: It is easier to take in things when you are open-minded.

DETAILS
Date: July 4, 2015
Groom: Brian Tukasingura
Bride: Daphine Kobusingye
Matron: Racheal Mirembe
Church: Miracle Centre Cathedral, Rubaga
Reception: UMA Hall, Lugogo
Budget: Shs40 m
Guests: 400

The highlights

Gown
Three weeks to the event, the bride’s original choice of gown had been hired. She had to do a quick pick from Sister’s Bridals shop.

Cake
At Shs 2.3 million the couple managed to feed their guests on an eight-tier cake. It had pearly adornments.

bestman
The groom opted to break away from the many-men entourage. He had only Percy Rwandarugali, as bestman to avoid stressing friends over attire and cut on wedding expenditure.

Hair
It is trendy for bridesmaids to wear different hairdos. In this case, two of Daphine’s bridesmaids had braids while the other two wore hair extensions. These were elegantly styled. This, with hair accessories that matched the earrings did leave an impression.

Creative
While taking photographs, the couple did not miss out on the heart-shaped finger frame. When looking for a photographer, get one who will not stick to basic frames but one who gets experimental. This shows that the couple and service providers are trendy.

Colour theme
Black and white for the men. The groom and his entourage stuck to the classy and traditional colour tones. These colours easily blend with any other palettes. A mix up of colours could lead one to have an uncoordinated colour theme , thus, poor photography.