Balancing work and marriage

Doris Akol, URA Commissioner General

It is not easy to find a perfect balance, because sometimes work stretches into family time, but I have established boundaries and I respect those boundaries. I have set principles and I have communicated them to the people I work with. I do not encourage work activities in the time I consider family time. If it is family time, there has got to be no work. For instance, no work appointment is set on Sunday or Saturday afternoon. And that is respected. It is important that your family knows that because at home they do not know you by the position you hold in office but as a wife, mother or sister. Then when it is work, there is no family business. For instance, my family does not just come into office unless it is an emergency.

Cissy Kagaba, Exec. Director Anti-Corruption Coalition

Balancing is not an ideal thing. You may want to balance but along the way, consciously or unconsciously, find yourself give one side more than the other. You may come home at 2pm but continue working on your laptop. Are you then giving your family time? Or you are at work but your mind is elsewhere, are you balancing? For me the principle is giving my best. I do not aim at balancing career and family. If it is family, I give my all, so do I when it is work. I do not let it haunt me that I did not balance. If you did that, you will start blaming yourself or trying to emulate other people who may not necessarily be balancing family and work but you think they are.

Sheila Ndyanabangi, marriage counsellor

I choose what I do carefully so work does not take away my family time. I do not do any work that is likely to take away my family time. The world is full of options and alternatives. If one option does not work, then you choose another. For instance, I studied public health to Masters level so I do not have to work in the hospital, because sometimes you have to be on night duty and that can be tricky when you have a young family. I prioritise my work. I have a busy office but it does not have to be filled with emergencies. My work is flexible. My work does not have to come to a halt because I am not there. I attend to my family and then catch up with work.

Ruth Nankabirwa, Kiboga Woman MP and incoming governmentt chief whip

I am a Christian and I believe nothing is possible without God. I believe it is God who appoints and enables me execute my duties even in tough areas like defence (ministry). I have an understanding husband, who understands that he is married to a politician so he has always encouraged and supported me. We share responsibilities at home. He always fills the gap of parenting and taking care of our six children whenever I am not around. We have also built trust with each other, including the way we handle our finances. My husband knows how much I earn and how I spend.

Manuella Mulondo, Bank manager

I have been lucky to have a supportive system, right from my husband, my mother and sisters. If I have to stay late or work on tight deadlines, my husband helps out with, say, the children. It can be hard for people who think they can do it alone. I am lucky that my mother is still alive so when I need help, she and my sisters help out. For instance, my mother helps run my business successfully. That is not to say everything goes on smoothly. It is a learning process. One learns to be a mother just as one gains experience at work.

Rita Achiro, Director Uganda Women’s Network

The responsibilities of a wife are quite heavy because society expects much from a wife regardless of whether or not she does professional work. I dedicate as much time as possible to my family. Then we share responsibilities and roles. For instance, my husband does not have to wait for me to do something, for us there are no gender roles. If something is good for the family, anyone can do it. My work does not affect my family because whatever I earn benefits the family, and the benefits are visible so my husband or anyone does not question why I work.

HAS EMANCIPATION AFFECTED WOMEN’S ROLE AT HOME?

“From my own experience, I do not think so. It depends on three factors; upbringing of your partner, her relationship with God and her culture. A devoted Christian, for example, will know God expects her to submit to her husband. But it could be a cultural issue where the more she gets appreciated or more money she wants to be more independent. Sometimes coming from a broken family may also affect the way she behaves. Being emancipated does not stop women from having wonderful relationships. I know many women like Jennifer Musisi and my wife who are in the public eye but are wives at home,”
Maurice Mugisha, News manager NTV

“Woman emancipation is a good thing, but women should know they cannot eat their cake and have it. So as women seek their rights, they should know their obligations and responsibilities in a relationship as well. If a woman is working, for example, the justification of both of us leaving home and going to work is to make a living for our children so a woman should make a contribution where she can, lest it loses meaning,”
Kyamutetera Muhereza, general Manager, Fireworks Advertising

“Only those with chauvinistic ideas say women emancipation is bad. It could be tribal, cultural, male or economic chauvinism, people brought up in a community where male supposedly dominate others. That shouldn’t be the case. Look at it this way; suppose your daughter earns more money than you, or it is your sister or mother who holds a Phd, would it be bad?”
Ofwono Opondo, Director Media Centre

“It depends on how people perceive it, otherwise it is not bad to empower women, but of course, some may abuse it. Women ought to behave responsibly. If a woman is married, she ought to know what is expected of a wife or a mother. A woman can be a leader and does not compromise her responsibility as a wife and vise versa,”
Martin Mapenduzi, Gulu chairman