Thursday April 23 2015

In a woman’s mind>Guys, enough of grabbing those crotches

 

By Janet Napio

What are you supposed to do when the person you are talking to is constantly fiddling with his balls? Are you supposed to look away, excuse yourself so he can have some time alone with them or do you just carry on with the conversation as if he were simply scratching an itch high up his thigh? What is the appropriate way to respond to these things?
I know I am not the only one who wonders why some men feel the need to constantly adjust what lies below the belt in full view of everyone. Are they worried that they could drop off or be snatched by street thieves who are now bored with snatching women’s handbags and smart phones with dead batteries? I know a number of men who are always doing this.
If you have never been privy to such, simply walk to any roadside and watch the passersby, I guarantee you that of every 10 men, three will treat you to this unpalatable display. However, there are men I have never seen touching those parts, and yet I am pretty sure they have them too, are subject to the discomfort that comes with temperature changes, especially the sweating bit, or misbehaving underwear, etc. So, pray tell, where lies the difference? Why won’t some people’s hands stay afloat?
I once watched a man eat his lunch. While his right hand was shoving huge portions of rice and beans into his widely-opened mouth, his left hand held his ‘nether-lands’ as if to channel some of the rice to them. For more than 30 minutes, he sat there, oblivious of what he was doing.
American gangster movies also have many scenes of youth clad in oversize sagging jeans and gold chains constantly grasping their groins as a display of power or something near to that. The good thing is that those characters are usually shot dead on the street. However, in real life, we are stuck with ordinary-looking men giving into the urge to touch, scratch or just hold and we cannot shoot them dead as is in the movies.
In Italy, crotch-grabbing was done to ward off bad luck. So if you were a superstitious Italian and went to work late and the boss was growling, all you had to do was grab your crotch and suddenly, he would present you with a cash prize for being the employee of the month. I do not think this worked and could probably explain why Italy’s highest court then ruled that it is a criminal offence for Italian men to touch their genitals in public. The offence comes with a hefty fine for offenders.
A friend said constant crotch-grabbing is like any other habit that is usually done unconsciously, say, picking your nose and then transferring what comes out to the mouth. It is gross but is usually done unconsciously.
This brings us back to where we started, how is one supposed to address this? Ignore it, confront it or just gossip about it behind the person’s back? I honestly do not know. However, what I know is that when they are full-grown men, my sons and nephews will not be caught walking around with their hands full, I will make sure of that.
While we are on the subject, is it true, that they sometimes do the disappearing act, right back into the body? And can you imagine that some men go to spas to have them waxed by total strangers? If that can be done, surely someone should invent an invisible adjuster or juggler.

jnapio@ug.nationmedia.com

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