Thursday January 23 2014

Is getting kinky a relationships booster or simply outrageous?

Collin Asiimwe during the interview. Photo by

Collin Asiimwe during the interview. Photo by Abubaker Lubowa 

By Olive Eyotaru

Manuela Mulondo

What is kinky sex?
I believe it is a non-conventional way of pursuing your sexuality. There are various ways people view sex. Kinky is on the edge, a bit different, and for some, enhances their sexual lives.

Are you comfortable with it?
I am not necessarily a fan because of the fact that it is not conventional; there are certain things I am a bit wary of. Kinky sex is broad and there are a few things that I can do and others that are a no-no. For example, instead of going for a threesome, why wouldn’t I just pole dance for my husband? There are things that go against my beliefs and the institute of marriage. When it comes to things that make a sexual experience less boring, I would go kinky. Things like dressing up, role playing… but threesomes, sex toys, chains… not for me.

Who should initiate it?
I guess the one whose desire it is, should go for it. There is usually, between the two of you, one who will get tired of a routine thing and feels there is a need to pursue something different.

How should you involve your partner?
You should communicate it to your partner and just not surprise them. For example imagine you are in the middle of a session and your partner slaps you... [giggles]. They will be in total shock. If you are a communicative couple, it would be nice to talk about it so that you hear what the other party has to say. I believe sex is like many of the other issues that come with partnerships so there should be compromise between the two parties. So, if you are conservative and believe that you cannot do certain positions, the other partner can pursue it to a certain degree – one new trick at a time. You should not flood them with these new Aladdin tricks at a go and make them uncomfortable.

The appropriate place?
This is where parents, relatives and friends come in. Drop the children there for a day and maybe forget them there at night, by mistake [smiles]. It gives you an opportunity to spend time with each other. I would also suggest having sex dates. If you are into role playing, go meet at a certain hotel and pretend that you do not know each other. Next thing...game on.

How often?
For women, sex is very emotional. I do not agree to scheduling certain things. It is something that comes emotionally. However, for men, it is a need and thirst – it is like water. So, once in a while, throw in some sparkling or flavoured water. Surprise them.

And the old folk?
One of the greatest pieces of advice one of my ssengas gave me is to always have a young friend. They always have new tricks they discuss with each other. Sex is one of those things that is going to stay in a marriage or relationship – everything that I get in my marital home, I can get at my parents’ house, except that. Even as you grow older, try what works for you. However, do not go beyond what you cannot do. Do not get a heart attack trying to do a certain style. Do what is comfortable.
The good thing with growing older is that it is less a