He seems to be playing me

The problem
Dear Heart to Heart, I met this guy through friends about two months ago. He seemed interested in me and even took my phone number. We started chatting, went out once and had fun, or so I thought, because he even suggested a second date but cancelled it at the last minute. We kept communicating but it felt like we were forcing the relationship, so I decided to give him some space. Recently, he asked why I was not talking to him and I told him how I felt. He said he would work on it but nothing changed because he cancelled our date again.
His actions have confused me yet when I try to leave, he shows he is interested and asks me to give him another chance. When I am around he acts funny. I actually like him but I don’t know how to deal with this kind of behaviour.
Ariane

Your solutions
Otile Fred. I am sure your first date ended with intimacy and that’s why probably he doesn’t want anything to do with you. Try to move on girl. He is occupied. Period.

Uwimbabazi Liz Jackie. He just wanted to sleep with you and didn’t want to make it in a direct way! He pretends to love you so that he can always comeback when he’s in need.

Andrew Adrian. If his actions and reactions are equal then don’t give up. But when they are opposite then fight hard to find what he may be hiding from you.

Promise James. Come on lady! I see no future in that love, and above all you were influenced by a friend so you rather call it off and get one your heart desires not who is influenced by friends.

Mistta Kirya. It’s commonplace these days that men will try and win hearts of as many girls as they possibly can, mostly to boast to their counterparts. He’ll only show appropriate interest in you when he realises that he’s about to lose you. Of course it’s easy to see the disinterest in him, because technically, he can’t spread the love equally among his victims. Disinterest may not necessarily imply a lack of love. Just because this person is preoccupied by their little personal game, the love (which may be present) is suppressed over the course of the play. The best way to approach such a person, is letting their mischievousness known to them. Opening up to them about your discomfort his disinterest causes you. This would serve as a wakeup call. That would include determining whether he truly loved you but was just entranced by their game, or not.

Fredrick SajjalyaKabaka Gelubunga. Now you are in a dilemma. He may be not playing, but he never feels ready when he tries. And whenever he gets a serious woman he gives up easily because he fears disappointing a woman.

Kindeku Jozeph. If it’s not working out at the beginning, it will never workout. When you went out with him, fact is you didn’t impress him, that’s why he is reluctant to meet you again. Secondly, he has other girl and is not decided. Just run before your heart breaks.

Olum Dano-mabor James. He is not playing you. Get to know his financial status vis-a-vis the proposed place where your date was going to be and evaluate the cost during your date. Also look also into the type of woman you are, understand the nature of his job, and make some necessary adjustments. Otherwise go slow with your decision.

Diana Atuha Ahebwe. Are you sure you are dating? Or you are assuming. Don’t rush into anything if you don’t want to get hurt. By this time, he should be the one chasing you. Don’t assume what he has not told you.

Uhuka Fabian Raymond. That relationship will last when you both get to know each other’s feelings? Since you say you like him, be that good woman for the first time. If he’s not showing interest, then you give him space for one month. If he never cares to know how you are doing then you let go. He’s not the right man for you?

Eric Onyait. You say “he seemed interested in me.” well Ariane you are not sure whether this guy you are falling for is ready to have you as a partner. Secondly, a date on the first day does not define a sealed relationship. Take a seat until you get someone who is worth more than a first-time date.

Okello Joseph Gasper. There is no relationship that doesn’t seem to confuse or have fights or even cheating antics. First stay until there is a clear reason to leave but don’t avoid any other serious person whom may express interest in you and at the end decide who turns out a proper match.

Chepkwemboi Belinda Lornah. You are trying to force things my dear. That man must be in a relationship with someone else. He is confused and maybe finds it hard to tell you that you are just friends.

Peter Kamunya. That man may be having a backlog in his schedule. Hence, I would advise you to endure as it’s said patience pays. However, you need to be keen because even players use similar tricks.

Counsellor says >

Doreen Tuhirirwe, counsellor at Uganda Counselling Centre

Dear Ariane, you do not reveal to us your age or if you have been in a relationship before but two months is too short for you to judge this man’s character.
You also do not tell us what happened when you met. Did anything go wrong? If not, do not act too desperate and give enough time for your relationship to grow.
Although first impressions are important, it also takes time for love to grow gradually. There should, however, be basic indicators that you look for in a relationship that trigger your senses to fall in love with someone. The character of honesty must highly be exhibited if you are looking for a serious relationship. Has he asked you to see his place? Does he explain to you why he cancels the dates? There is more to this that you must understand because he may also be using you.

It is therefore important to give him time and be able to understand his character.
We are never perfect! Also have a self-checker to see how you may have contributed to his character the first time you met with him. Generally, first impressions may be there, then the crush but allow enough time for love to grow between the two of you.

Compiled by Beatrice Nakibuuka