Thursday January 16 2014

The three kinds of people you should never marry


By Mike Ssegawa

If there is one thing I am grateful to God for, it is for not giving me a partner who falls under one of these professions.
A journalist: Someone is probably laughing out loud that a journalist is backbiting his comrades. Monkey see monkey does – isn’t it? Oh yes – I know the perils of the trade (of course also the good) that I don’t want my wife to be associated with the media career.

On New Year and Christmas as the world was at home resting and thanking God for sending unto them a saviour, journalists were busy covering these days’ proceedings. The scribes were also running around looking for babies born on these big days, and others were busy clicking away, capturing people’s fun moments after a tough year.

These people cannot sit at home and enjoy a family day. When would I have had enough of my spouse when she was out there looking for who died in an accident on Boxing Day?
A journalist’s sense of duty is high - they feel indebted to inform the public on what is going on in society at the sacrifice of their own happiness. It does not matter whether this day falls on Christmas or on their birthday.

Politician: You all know that politicians were born liars. Who wants a liar for a partner? If someone can lie to 34 million people, what about that one person you promise something, without witnesses? It is only politicians who can lie to people who have put so much faith in them. I did not ask God for a partner who promises 10 things and fulfills only one - returning home when she needs me.
Good partners mean a house when he or she promises a house (read roads, water, electricity, term limits, et al in case of politicians).

They should be there with you whether it is convenient or not, and not to take advantage of you when it serves them best. Your interests need to always come first. Unfortunately that is not how politicians do it. I thank God for saving me from a liar.
Entertainers: Thank you Lord X12! For those of you with a singer, actress or dancer for a partner, I don’t envy you, but I wish you well.

I am not a night a person yet these people make a living at night. Let me ask any man with a singer for a wife, how do you sleep sane in your bed when your wife is in Club Silk performing every weekend? No, no, no! Imagine her entertaining other people in the audience while you are in your boring bed alone – how sober could you be?

No wonder musicians and politicians fill our gossip pages with marriages and relationships in turbulence. I am sure journalists face similar problems, only that since they write the stories, they won’t be comfortable washing their dirty linen in public.
Didn’t someone once say: “Tell me your friends…” Journalists are always where politicians and entertainers are. It is a company with hate-love relationships. So, journalists learn a thing or two from the company they keep.

I know there are many journalists, politicians and performers who made or make good partners, but boy – those are few. These careers sit on a can of worms. I pity my wife!