Thursday May 1 2014

They met in a club and danced their way to a relationship

Gareth Onyango and his partner Nickita Bachu

Gareth Onyango and his partner Nickita Bachu share a playful moment. Right: The couple with their son at their home. The marketeers, who both work at Club Venom, have been together for five years. PHOTOS BY EDGAR R. BATTE 

By Edgar R. Batte

Her story
How did you meet?
We met in Ange Noir. We had met in several places, but the first time we talked was in Ange Noir.

What was your reaction when he approached you?
I did not mind him. When he said hello, he followed me to the dance floor. I think he liked the fact that we were dancing, in a crazy way.

So from the dance floor, what was his next move?
He asked for my number that night after the dance.

Did you give it to him?
Yes I did, which I do not usually do. But he did not call me immediately.

So, when he finally called, what did he say?
Well, he asked me to go with him on a date. I accepted. I used to go out with my sisters but this particular evening, I was alone with him.

Where did he take you?
We went to the beach. It was a Tuesday.

By this time, I am sure you were ‘studying him’. What did you see in him?
He was fun and lively. As we left club to go home, we hit a pavement and the car got a problem. His friend was driving. As we approached home, the car was leaking and they asked to leave it at my home. I was annoyed but had to understand. It meant that I had to see them again. When they came to pick the car, Gareth continued pursuing me. We went out again that day.

Where did you go this time?
We went back to Entebbe. He liked the beach. When we came back, we went to different clubs until late and I ended up at his place.

On the second night?
Yes… ha ha ha.

What happened that night?
I just slept. We were both high because we left the club at around 5am.

What was your assessment of him?
He was a nice man and I did not expect to be more than just friends. He was friendly and treated me well.

Were you seeing anyone at the time?
No, I had just broken up with my boyfriend like a month ago. I was still hurting and I was not looking at dating that soon.

At what point then did you realise Gareth was asking for more than friendship?
After an incident that happened at home. I was called for a family meeting in Kabale and he travelled to see me. I was surprised. It was a nice thing. When we returned from Kabale, we started dating seriously.

What serious character traits did you cherish about him?
He was a good listener. I would tell him I did not like something and he would tell me he would stop doing it. He was different.

What is it you did not like about him?
He is a bit too friendly, especially with the girls.

What exactly defines that friendly bit with the girls?
As girls we usually misinterpret things. He was simply an outgoing character and he would not mind what the other person was thinking, so being in a relationship with him was a bit irritating seeing him hugging different girls.

So, how did the two of you deal with that?
I just talked to him about it. It has not been a simple thing to work on, especially since we work in a club where there are girls all over, but he respects me. He has gotten problems along the way.

Like which problems?
Girls misinterpret what he says or even when he is good to them they think he wants them. Some of them have even approached me telling me how he wants them, but I know my man.

What is it like working with your boyfriend and the fact that he supervises you?
It is normal because either way, he is my supervisor.

Has he ever sent you on suspension?
No and not because I am his girlfriend. I know what I am doing and I like my job. When he met me, I was working and he knows I am determined to work. He does not have to always tell me what to do, he knows I know my job.

How do you draw the line between being lovers and workmates?
I think because our industry is entertainment, things work themselves out. He is a manager and he works hand in hand with us.

What challenges do you face in your relationship?
We have very little alone time because we work a lot. We do not only work at night. We hold meetings during the day.

What do you miss that other couples do?
Going out, watching movies, taking trips. We cannot leave work at the same time. There has to be someone to stay at work.

What have been your happiest moments as a couple?
The time we had our child. It was the care Gareth gave us both that made me happy.

What does it feel like having a child yet you are not legally married?
Sometimes it bothers me, though I know we have been planning. It has not been so easy with my parents, so I cannot blame Gareth entirely. He has tried but my parents need time. They are not very open people.

What do you mean they are not so open?
Because of our cultural differences.

What is your culture?
I do not know because I am too mixed.

Tell me about the mix.
My father has Rwandan and Indian blood and my mother is partly Arabic and partly Muganda.

When do you hope to legalise things?
This year.

his story
How did you meet Nickita?
We met about five years ago. Our meeting was funny because for me, it was love at first sight. The first day I met her, I felt I wanted to be with her, and there and then, I started pursuing her.

What is it that struck you about her that you wanted her in your life?
She is a very nice looking lady and when I talked to her I realised that she was very intelligent and God fearing. That drew me closer to her.

How did you confess your love for her?
I did it in a phone call. I told her I wanted to be with her and that she excited my heart.

How long had you dated before you professed your love for her?
We had dated for quite a while. We had been dating for almost a year.

What was her reaction?
She was positive. Then I realised she felt the same way, so it was a mutual feeling.

How many girls were you seeing at the time you chose her?
Ha ha ha. I cannot remember. It was just her.

How did you get rid of them now that you had chosen to settle down with Nickita?
Well, for starters I made it clear to everyone that I was serious with someone and I was taken so they had to understand that and move on with their lives.

You work together, how many hours do you spend together in a day?
We spend every hour together or at least 10 hours.

What does it feel like supervising your partner?
It is normal for me. When it comes to work, it is purely work and we do not mix our personal relationship with our work. We try as much as possible to keep it professional. Some people even get surprised when they see the way we talk at work, for example during a meeting. I am strict. Home affairs can wait when we are at work.

Your woman is attractive, how do you take it when men hit on her?
This is something I have grown to tolerate because you can never get rid of such people but of course at the stage where our relationship is, we understand each other and the relationship has a lot of trust, so that helps keep us strong.
What challenges do you face in your relationship?
The challenge we face is about the way ladies approach me, which raises suspicion with my girlfriend. I am an accommodative and understanding person given the nature of my job, but it is sometimes perceived the wrong way. In the end she understands that it is purely business.

Are you carelessly soft with women?
Well, I am very friendly and I have so many friends who are girls and they all know I am in a relationship and we keep it at that level

How do you make her understand this?
We sit, talk about it and get it solved.

Nightclub business is quite tasking, do you ever struggle to have private moments?
We try, especially when we are not at work. I try as much as possible to make her happy. We try to distinguish work and our life out of the workplace

Have you ever checked her phone?
No, I have never because it is her phone.

Do you ever let her check your phone?
Yes, I see it as a normal thing. I even believe that in a relationship it should be okay to use one phone.

Why is it you let her check your phone and not check her phone?
I just do not feel it is important.

That’s a political answer. Well, do you have rules as a couple?
In our relationship we do not have rules because we have learnt to trust one another, we know our limits on what we can do and should not do.

You have been together for a while now. Are you under pressure to legalise your relationship?
Yes, I am under pressure.

What have you done or plan to do?
That is something we are working on, so soon or later we will be legalising our relationship.

How soon is that?
It is in the process. I am planning to visit her parents this year.

How well do these two know each other?
What is the size of her bra?
Gareth: Ha ha ha.
Nickita: I would not know. It is just small...ha ha ha.

Who is her best friend?
Gareth: She has many friends.
Nickita: Pherrie Kimbugwe.

What hairstyle is she wearing?
Gareth: Peruvian hair piece
Nickita: Kardashian.

How old is she?
Gareth: She is 24.
Nickita: 25.

What is her favourite colour?
Gareth: Red.
Nickita: Red.

What does she cook best?
Gareth: She cooks everything. She is like a chef. She cooks good pilao.
Nickita: Rice.

What is her current favourite movie?
Gareth: The walking dead.
Nickita: The walking dead.

What is her favourite drink?
Gareth: Red label.
Nickita: Red Label.

Her mum’s full name?
Gareth: Ha a ha ha… I have to remember that one.

What is his favourite colour?
Nickita: Black.
Gareth: Blue.

What is his favourite hangout?
Nickita: Club Venom.
Gareth: Club Venom.

His favourite football team?
Nickita: Arsenal.
Gareth: Arsenal.

What is his favourite beer?
Nickita: Guinness.
Gareth: I don’t drink beer.

The colour of his tooth brush?
Nickita: Green.
Gareth: Blue.