What is wrong with a man doing the dishes?

As my friends wished to have tycoons by their side, my prayer was to have a presentable, God-fearing, respectful, approachable, understanding, helpful and loving partner - until death did us apart.

Just as priests say during the family homilies at church, marriage is not only about providing for the home and making babies. A man has a huge role to play as a husband, to keep the flame that blazed in courtship burning.

There is something I have failed to understand, though; what happens to relationships after people get married? Is it the children that interfere with the love and happiness? Money matters? But no, that is not what I want to dwell on today. My issue today is, why are men unhelpful?

Just last weekend, Melon, a long-time friend visited my house and she told me something incredible about Joy, her husband. These two had dated since campus before they got married recently. And the way they helped each other out on everything got many people envious.

“Can you imagine Joy never helps me with anything these days? I do everything by myself yet he just sits back relaxing in the house. I wonder why he doesn’t consider me anymore yet he knows I have no maid. It is annoying and sometimes I find myself regretting why I committed to him,” Melon said.

“Sorry.” was the most appropriate thing I could say to her. Of course, I did feel her pain, because I know how a person such as Joy can be a burden. And yet talking to him about it would seem like he is being provoked.

Tell me, what is wrong with a man doing house work if you are free? I mean if you cannot do laundry, light a charcoal stove, peel matooke, or just get active with any kitchen role that you find easy to do; dust the house, lay the bed, iron and take care of the compound, instead of just warming the sofas. The fact is that women get tired and it is in this case that we expect our dear ones to give a hand.

I remember while growing up, my old man distributed chores to every child. So in my family, boys cooked and mopped the floor.

Children tend to look up to their parents as their role models, but some men tend to prioritise their manhood, forgetting that we are both humans. I do not know if it is their peers who destroy our good men, or they just choose to do it that way.

Imagine a man telling you good and inspiring stories about his father, but instead you find him doing the complete opposite.

I know that we cannot come up with a timetable for our husbands when we need help with the chores, it should be self-driven. Dear husbands, do not wait to be told or asked for help, just use common sense.

Make your presence be felt whenever you are home. Remember having that woman in the house does not necessary mean you have a donkey. She is a companion and shame on you if you have not yet paid dowry for her and legally acquired her as your wife.

The Bible in Matthew 12:35 says, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things”.

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