All men are domesticated snakes, but they remain snakes

There is no better analogy for most rape cases than a domesticated snake biting its caretaker. The snake was peaceful and friendly all the while before that drunken evening when the demons of evil got hold of it.
It ends up dipping its fangs into the skin of its amiable caretaker and killing him/her in the process.

It might also die at the end of the deed or might escape unscathed. But it is also possible – and this is the part that confuses many snake caretakers – that for an entire lifetime, one’s domesticated and well-trained snake might remain cool and amiable. But the truth is, it remains a snake, potentially dangerous – and shamelessly venomous.

Let’s note that for most snake farmers and caretakers, majority of their snakes are so well educated that they commit no evil till their death. It is this possibility that deluded most snake caretakers into the belief that good training eliminates a snake’s snakeness.
This is surely a delusion. To use a tired image in Ugandan political discourse, the only non-venomous snake is a dead one.

Sitting down with Aljazeera’s Mehdi Hassan at the Oxford Union for the Head-to-Head Show, Australian feminist, Germaine Greer, noted that “stranger rape is rare.”
Most rapists tend to be friends, personal acquaintances, or family members. Rapists tend to be people with whom their victims actually share a warm relationship. Indeed, cases of perfect strangers waylaying and raping their victims are common in war situations – where rape becomes a weapon itself, or in complicated cultural contexts such as parts of India – where public gang rape is “legally” accepted “punishment” [even for crimes committed by kindred].

The campaign against rape has variously challenged men or pleaded with education systems to teach men how not to rape but rather seek consent in matters of sexual nature. [On consent, American comedian, Tiffany Haddish joked that for men, consent should be “standby and wait till she’s got all her clothes off” – by herself].
The campaign more broadly – captured in the language that critiques patriarchy, seeks to end the abuse of women more generally, and extends into advocacy for equal pay for equal work.

This pitch – of teaching men not to rape – emerged as a critique of positions that espoused encouraging women to learn to protect or avoid situations that would compromise their sexual security. This pitch thus espouses punishment of sex offenders, public humiliation, and radically speaking out.

It is this campaign from which anti-sexual harassment policies have emerged world over. My intention is not to disagree with the campaign above. Neither do I seek to argue that men should not be instructed with the discipline to respect women’s bodies, and expressly seek consent in matters of sexual nature – and offenders be punished.

My point is rather that the strides made and ongoing struggle for women’s freedom have a major handicap – the refusal to embrace prevention in significant ways. Part of my ambition here is to critique the enlightenment and its ideals of freedom and rights, and the illusion that sexual wildness in men can be eradicated by learning or punishment/compensation.

Elite folks
To this end, my article narrowly focuses on that section of women and their male counterparts – the elite, empowered folks, mostly found in urban centres – who are the prime products of, and are viewed as enjoying the fruits of the enlightenment.

Enlightenment discourse claims to have liberated humans from the authoritarianism of religion and culture. It gave us a sophisticated sense of human engagement and liberated us from crass inexplicable religious-cultural social constructions -- that mostly disadvantaged women.

Indeed, in her (1970) passionate polemic, The Female Eunuch, Greer noted that women did not know how men hated them. A major part of this narrative provides the springboard for the critique of patriarchy. Sadly, despite these freedoms having emerged in Europe in the 1500s, the western world – as the #MeToo and Equal-Work-Equal-Pay movements have showed us – still struggles with rape and other abuses of women.

[Well, one might argue this is ongoing life-long campaign, and I agree – but 500 years on is quite a long time].
We have become so advanced in science and technology, but even admiringly sophisticated places such as Hollywood, Silicon Valley, or the US State Department, sexual harassment and general abuse of women is still reported. That Europe and North America remain the most notorious for sex trafficking makes a mockery of our uncritical embrace of the ideals of the enlightenment.

Plenty of scholarship has emerged to critic the enlightenment period as a delusion of liberation from culture and religion for it instead dumped humanity into the equally exploitative marketplace (Ardorno and Horkheimer, 1944; Wolf, 1992).

The enormity of sexual crimes in seemly more enlightened places should challenge us to revisit our anti-abuses discourses, especially on rape. Europe and North America reveal something inherently virulent about men and sexuality. In Hobbesian speech, man emerges as perpetually nasty and brutish, and is often looking out for the nearest open window to have his way.

My point is this: irrespective of all the sophistication and technological advancement, all the education, and campaigns to make men better humans as regards relating with the womenfolk, men remain venomous and wild creatures. It is something they can only subdue, but only to a limit. Indeed, it is important to appreciate that putting male wildness under control comes easy to some, but not to all.

The Islamic tradition describes the male sexual uncontrollability as a “disease”— an affliction that catches them unawares – and can only be kept under check by a combination of factors – including women creating ‘safe spaces’ for themselves. [Interestingly, women safe spaces – women only restaurants, bars, women only dance halls, gyms, and swimming pools etc. – are becoming common in Europe and North America – as are emerging]. In their insane moments, sobriety in men only returns after the deed – and might not even return for some.

Interestingly, the claim that “men have challenges controlling this sex wildness” has been refuted by many anti-abuse and anti-rape activists. My contention is that here lies a core part of the problem. Indeed, history is replete with evidence that men have actually often failed – and will continue to fail controlling their urges, producing more victims along the way. It might be difficult to admit but men are the weakest in matters relating to sex.

Repercussion
Indeed, their weakness oftentimes turns them into forceful, violent, and terribly reckless animals. An interesting market study on selling condoms in Congo revealed a telling realty. In the face of the deadly HIV/Aids, the study showed, men never minded “protecting” their lives once the demons of mating had gotten into their heads. They would rather die but have sex.

Now considering that it is difficult to tell a (potential) rapist from a non-rapist (unless you are the victim, or there was a conviction – Germaine Greer suggested putting a permanent rapist’s tattoo in an easily visible place such as their wrists or on the back of their palms), let me return to the image with which I began this essay.

Convinced that men are snakes – and many women agree on this one – how should one relate with a domesticated snake? The answer to this question should speak to a core part of the conversation on rape and the campaigns against it. I am aware these men-snakes are unavoidable part of our eco-system, but awareness of their snake-like credentials ought to be foregrounded.

Let me say a bit about what I sought not to do about: For being Muslim, I am likely to be understood as asking women to wear burkas or niqab or keep away from binge drinking or never visit men at all as advised in the Islamic tradition. I could be chided for seeking to convert women into Islam. For this, I could then be challenged on the fact that rape is also reported in Islamic communities.

Although I would be glad if all women became Muslims, but neither of these is my ambition. Please also note that this argument of mine does not touch sexual harassment, which I think has little to do with copulation, but rather terrible upbringing and miss-education.

Before I am accused of attempting to blame the victim, let me urge that I am understood as reiterating the somewhat cliché-st, but actually accurate scientific observation that prevention is better than cure. Indeed, this is how Cuba has one of the best healthcare systems in the world. They focused on prevention.