Find someone who loves you back and settle

If someone loves you, they should be able to show it. COURTESY PHOTO

What you need to know:

“Much as it might be hard to walk away from someone you love, it is more traumatising to keep giving knowing that you will receive nothing in return.”

It is one thing to love someone, but it is a priceless experience to be loved by someone you love. Like it is hard in barter trade to find someone who wants what you have and can give you what you need in exchange, this double coincidence is what everyone prays and wishes for in love.

It is so heartbreaking to love someone who keeps turning your feelings down no matter what you do to impress him/her and a frustrating experience to be loved by someone who you cannot love back regardless of how much you try. This by far is the best signal sent from the heart about who is fit or not fit for you. It might not necessarily be that they do not match your checklist but that is the heart issue and it is useless to argue with it.

A reader sent me an email asking for advice about his girlfriend who did not seem to give him back what he was giving. He would call and text but the other party did not seem to have time for him, even during times he expected her to be less busy like at night, she always has an excuse not to answer his calls. He is getting frustrated as we all could feel and he wanted to find out whether he should just keep trying to lure her back or just let go and find someone else.

It is not easy to advise someone whose full story you do not know but there are signs that smell breakup. A love story is supposed to be written by two parties, if you give something, you should expect to get it in return just as the Bible says, “give and it shall be given back to you...”

If you find yourself on the other side of a relationship giving all you could without getting anything in return, my brother, it is bad business. Even a farmer sows seed and expects a harvest at the end of the season. Who are you to keep investing where you are not earning?

Much as it might be hard to walk away from someone you love, it is more traumatising to keep giving knowing that you will receive nothing in return. That kind of love is only possible for Jesus Christ but humans want results and we want them now.

If someone loves you, they should be able to show it. If he or she is scared to show it in fear that it will be taken for granted; well, then it will not be your fault when you walk away and they realise that they lost someone precious as they tried so hard to guard their heart.