The kimulis: A tale of love brewed in church

His story

We met at one of the lounge rooms at the Kampala Serena Hotel. Ms Karen Kimuli walked in first and was later followed by Pablo, who was dressed in all-black. His wife on the other hand, was dressed casually, in blue jeans, a top and wore a jacket for warmth since it was raining outside. Throughout the interview, she was more vocal than her husband who was constantly interrupted by the calls he was receiving on his phone.

How have you and your wife been lately?
We have been fine though very busy with work.

How many years have you been married?
Five years now.

And how have those years gone so far?
It is a learning experience and a work in progress. There are things you think are negligible and yet they are the most serious things and what you thought was the most serious can pass as minor. Even something you thought was settled last time could come back as a new project.

What was the feeling like for you transitioning into marriage?
It was easy, probably because I allowed my wife to take charge of the household as I learned.

How would you best describe your wife?
She is a go-getter and very mindful of other people. She is the type of person who knows friends’ birthdays and sometimes even goes to extremes of finding out if they received cake or not.
Karen is also the kind of person who easily opens up to people she knows and if she does not know the person, one can think that she has never spoken.

And how is she at home?
She is in two places at the same time. She might be in the kitchen but running events in the bedroom and at the same time monitoring what is transpiring in the sitting room.

How have you managed to protect your marriage from bad press?
We are accountable to each other, have a neat circle of friends as well as avoid making bad news as husband and wife. This does not give the media the chance to feed on something and build a story.

What does your wife think about your celebrity status?
She is never bothered by it.

Do women hit on you?
That is the beauty of being a comedian, it is difficult to tell whether they are serious or not.

How do you solve conflicts in your marriage?
It depends on the degree of the problem. Sometimes, we talk about it, sleep on it or keep quiet. But one thing we never do is involve a third party. We try to resolve it between us.

What do you love most about Karen?
I love her saving skills since I am very bad with money. I am a very impulsive buyer and good at giving away money.

And the thing you dislike most about her is…
Once she has made up her mind, she sticks to it. It is a good side about her but it can as well be irritating sometimes.

What do you do when your wife annoys you?
I normally keep quiet.

What are the two things you have learnt about marriage that you would like to share with young men out there?
It is a partnership not only crucial in raising children but also in decision making. Another very important thing I have learnt is the essence of prayer, no matter what religion one subscribes to. It is crucial to recognise the divine anointing as husband and wife and always speak blessings onto your children.

Her story

How did you meet Kenneth?
I met him at Watoto Church. We had always seen each other around. But around 2009, I went for an overnight and during the break, I stepped out and found Pablo, or let’s say Ken as I prefer to call him, outside. We exchanged greetings and started chatting. For some reason, the conversation actually became very interesting.
When the break ended and we were going back for the next session, he told me his favourite praise and worship song was Run by Hillsong. Shortly, he went and took his seat which was upstairs of the chapel as I went to take mine downstairs. Moments later, that same song was played and I was forced to look towards where he was seated but he was not there. He had actually run just like the song, to where I was to tell me that they were playing it. That was how our friendship eventually started.

How did the friendship transition into something deeper?
I always tell him that he has never asked me out. We did not date because the time between when we met, October 24, 2009 to the proposal date was short. He proposed on February 14, 2010, Valentine’s Day. Up to now, I still tease him that he was supposed to first ask me out to be his girlfriend.

How did you react when he asked you to be his wife?
It was not sudden because during those three months we had built a friendship. But I thought that he would always ask me out first and we date. That aside, I had been praying to God that I did not want to date. This was to the extent that I had read books like I kissed dating goodbye. I felt that dating was a wastage of time.

Was there any particular reason you felt that way?
It was because I had dated someone for a long time before Ken. I had even been engaged. It really took a lot of my time and yet it did not yield much. I guess we were not compatible. Anyway, that is why I eventually became disinterested in dating.

What struck you the most about Kenneth?
My dream had always been that if I met a man who loved God more than he loved me, I would be okay with it. This meant that everything he did would be more pleasing to God and so it would be very hard for him to hurt me or even make my life difficult. Yeah, that was what stood out about him.

Your communications skills?
I like using Whatsapp while he prefers to call. Sometimes I really do get angry when he takes long to respond to a message. There are even times when he replies a message I sent in the morning when he gets back home in the evening. You see, he is even laughing because he knows that he is a culprit.

How would you best describe Kenneth?
He is extremely laid back, something that most people do not know. Sometimes, he is very quiet. It is contrary to what people see him outside, as a happy, jumpy and jolly person. On the other hand, he is analytical and thoughtful. Whenever he is around the children he is playful and cheerful.

How many do you have, by the way? I mean children...
We have two; one is four years old and the other is one and a half years old. Both are boys.

What do you love most about your husband?
I like that he is a generally happy person no matter how grey a situation is. Also, I love the fact that he lets me be myself.

And the one thing that irritates you most about him is…
He is very slow at decision making. Sometimes when a decision needs to be made quickly, he will simply say, “Things will work out, they will be okay”.

What do you normally do when he annoys you?
I tell him but I have learnt of late to keep quiet. I now know how to choose my battles wisely.

How do you keep the romance alive?
Maybe, we should first ask, do we keep it? But anyway, I commend Ken for bringing his spontaneity into the marriage. For instance, he will just call, ask if I am doing anything and if I am not, he takes me out. There are days he can even buy me flowers just because it is a Wednesday.

Does it help a lot that Kenneth is older than you? (He is 37 and she is 32)
Yes, it does because we women are generally sensitive and dramatic. There are times he will view me as a girl and that will let me pass certain things. Rather than taking it out on me, he will let me be. The five year age difference has made things easy for me.

Wise words

Your advice to the singles on finding soulmates...
Karen: So many people believe that love is enough for a relationship but it is never the case. There is a lot more to that. The feelings will fade after sometime but it is the substance that will continue to glue you together. This is in terms of what you are bringing to the table as well as the other person. You need to look at your lives in terms of how the two of you will be in future.
And for the ladies, do not be desperate for a man. If you are already past 30 years, build yourself, for instance, by buying assets but at the same time, put yourself out there. Do not only have a home and work routine. Most importantly, remember to pray to God to bring you a husband.
PabIlo: I would advise the men to first intentionally quarrel with that particular woman they are interested in dating. If she can bear your temper, keep her. Do not just jump into the glamour. Also, first taste the tremor. But again, do not go with high expectations when entering a relationship. No one is perfect.

Do you have relationship mentors?
Pablo: Yes, we do. They are Mr David and Irene Rusoke. They celebrated 10 years in marriage last year. We relate with them a lot.
Karen: We talk to them. They were part of our counselling team before we got married.