I hate social media display of affection

Thursday September 19 2019

 

By Joan Salmon

Dear Heart to Heart, My boyfriend posts pictures of me on his social media accounts all the time. I have nothing to hide but I don’t like the idea of my picture being plastered all over. I can’t tell him to stop posting them because if I do, he might think I am hiding something. I am not a fan of social media public display of affection. How do I communicate this without causing problems? Anonymous

YOUR FEEDBACK
Alvin Johnson If it is making you uncomfortable, that means communication and openness is needed. If you are having an issue, be careful not to point blame at your partner. That issue can be drawn to his attention by simple dialogue.

Henry Mugisha There are some things that our partners do that really upset us and when you talk about it, you are labelled the unreasonable one. I also don’t like my photos on social media. Just ask him to stop.

Henry Kiramba Do the same and post his pictures on your page. His reaction will give you the answer for your next approach.

Fananda Lubeck Just say it the way it is. If he does not understand then he has to deal with his insecurities somehow.

Jones Jonath Be open, tell him the truth how you don’t like him posting your photos on social media.

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Benitah Sharon I am just like you. I told my boyfriend right away. Be true to your feelings and don’t be afraid to speak up. If he loves you, he will trust, understand and come to terms wth you. Feel free and be true to yourself plus your relationship.

Phoebe Miriam The truth is that real men and women prefer to live privately. I am one of them! The reason many relationships suffer unnecessarily is because of involving third parties in issues which only need to be sorted by two people! Communicate with your man, if he fails to understand just block him so you won't be seeing your pics posted regularly.

Jero Belcom Just tell him that you become uncomfortable seeing your images allover social media. Tell him you need some privacy.

Electra Maccura Akiiki People have different ways of expressing their love and that is his way. If you love him, then stop complaining.

Uthman Kayuza Sorry about that. I similarly hate seeing my girlfriend plastered everywhere like MTN adverts, but can’t tell her coz I know she will not understand me.

Leno Banie
You are not alone. I hate being posted on social media. I am a very private person. Unfortunately, my spouse seems to think that if I don’t post him om my social media accounts, it is because I am ashamed of him. He makes me feel guilty for a crimes I have not commited. At first I used to post just to make him happy but I stopped. Now he won’t stop guilty tripping me. I have no solution for you but please know that you are not alone.

Genevive Laker
This is so immature. Why would grown-up people feel the need to post their private lives on social media? Tell him to stop posting your photos. He will be offended but will eventually get over it. After all, it is not those photos that he obsesses about that keep him warm on cold at night. Don’t be afraid. Tell him the truth.

Linda Kaine
Relationships should be transparent and be characterised by honesty. If you can’t talk about something as minor as this, then perhaps you have no business being in a relationship with each other.

Peter Ochen
This is ironical for me. My girlfriend wants me to flaunt her and yet here you are crying out for being flaunted!

Felix Bagaiga
This is just a matter of poor communication. Tell him your needs and make sure he respects them. Do the same for him and trust me, all will be well.

Carol Linda
Social media is fo idle people. Your boyfriend should find another way of showing his affection. Although I am sure this is just his way of tight marking you. I actually think this is immature.

Counsellor’s say
Stephen Langa,
Family Life Network
You need to be open

Dear Anonymous, your relationship does not seem to be a free one given the fact that you cannot share what you are concerned about. That means the foundation is wanting.
In a relationship, you are supposed to be free to share your emotions, and aspirations. Otherwise, how will the other person know what hurts you? In a relationship, you cannot put up a false front, which is what you are doing and will affect your intimacy. You should be real and let him know and if he gets upset, at least you are truthful.
In relationships you need to weigh what is worth fighting for and what you can let be. If it is something you can live with, then so be it. But the fact that you have written about it, then it matters and you ought to bring it out.

Write to us
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Answers to all questions are provided by readers and, where necessary, cross-checked with competent psychiatrists, psychologists, sociologists and other experts in related professions.
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Compiled by Joan Salmon

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