‘I urged him to declare his feelings’

When they met, both Edwin Lwasa and Hilda Mwima were students at Katikamu SDA Secondary School, although Edwin was three years ahead of her. At the time, Edwin was dating Hilda’s friend. Hilda would act as the go between the two, and they would each confide in her and ask for her guidance on several aspects of their relationship.

“When they later broke up, I blamed Edwin and cut all communication with him. I had put a lot of effort into the relationship, especially since they would consult me when they had misunderstandings,” Hilda says.

After high school, Edwin travelled to the Philippines for further studies and during this time, there was no communication between him and Hilda.  However, when he returned, he asked to meet her but she declined.

“I wanted to explain why I had ended it with her friend and also ask her to be part of our singing group that had just started. I knew she was a good singer but I was not sure she would agree to it,” Edwin says.

By the time the lockdown was instituted in 2020, Hilda had joined the group, which had nine other members. They would often spend a lot of time together, which gave Edwin and Hilda time to study the Bible.

“At first I thought the lessons were so boring since they were the obvious. With time, I got interested in reading and learning more. Edwin also introduced me to other books by Ellen G White and every day before sleeping, we would read a chapter together via the phone,” she recalls.

Since Edwin was not an early riser, she called him every morning to wake him up. These back and forth chats happened for several months until, “I noticed he was being too nice. He would even buy me food and bring it to the hostel.”

One day as we talked on the phone, I asked, “Are you interested in me? But because he is very shy, he hung up on me. I called him again after 15 minutes and I asked him to clarify the relationship between us. After about 15 minutes of silence and heavy deep breaths, he admitted to having romantic feelings for me and although I had pushed him to give me an answer, I did not know how to respond or react.”

“Although I had fallen in love with her, I feared she would turn me down. But when she probed, I had to tell her how I felt.”

The two then sought guidance by praying more and reading the books Messages to Young Lovers by Ellen G White and Complete Courtship by Nancy L. Van Pelt. By the time they had finished reading the books, they were ready to start dating.

Too nice?

The couple describe their dating experience as smooth although Hilda says she was bothered by the fact that he never got angry, even when she did something wrong. She says Edwin was never phased by any problem, always just praying whenever faced with difficult situations.

“I did not know what made him angry or happy. It also bothered me that it took him so long to tell his friends about our relationship. I gradually asked him to open up and with time, he did,” Hilda says.

On his birthday in June 2021, Edwin told his parents he was going to marry Hilda, the girl from his singing group. At first his parents did not welcome this idea, given Hilda’s outgoing character. They asked him to be careful, but he stood his ground.

“The moment he defended me before his parents, I fell head over heels in love him. This was a sign that he loved me that much. I also fell in love with his spirituality because he taught to read the Bible me and always encouraged me to pray. With him, I felt safe,” Hilda says.

The ultimatum

Edwin then told Hilda that he would marry her in six years after he had built a house and was financially stable. However, Hilda told him she would break up with him after two years.

“I realised that I was going to miss out on the woman of my dreams. She is beautiful, intelligent and mission-oriented, the main qualities I desired in my future wife,” he recalls.

Legalising the relationship

Edwin proposed to Hilda on September 12, 2022 at Papyrus Terrace in Kampala. They set the dates for their kukyaala in March, their introduction in July and on August 12, they tied the knot at SDA Church in Najjanankumbi, Kampala.

With support from friends and family, they were able to cover most of the expenses that catered for 1,500 guests who graced their reception at Landmark Junior School on Entebbe Road.

The best moment for Edwin was when they walked down the aisle. “We sang to each other while we walked down the aisle. When I saw her, I was amazed by her beauty and the fact that she had agreed to marry me. I became nervous and almost lost my voice. I had to compose myself and then sing for my wife.”

 “I was overwhelmed by the number of people who attended our wedding. Many of them stood out because the church was too small. At the reception, we had planned for only 500 guests but had to find 1,000 more seats. People patiently waited while standing until they got their seats. Surprisingly, the food was sufficient,” Hilda says.

The couple defines marriage as beautiful companionship that should be characterised by less talking and more listening. Asked how they handle finances and relatives, the couple says, “We plan to have a joint savings account when she starts working. We also have well defined boundaries with relatives and there is no overstepping.”

Advice

“Embrace the problems as they come. Do not get married expecting problems. Also, do not compare yourself to others. People are different and we all run our marriages differently,” Hilda advises.

Edwin says marriage is one institution the devil fights the most. He says, “My business suffered losses towards the wedding but I knew it was the devil fighting. When you commit to marry, stand by your commitment. Do not give up.”