Are you one for short term relationships?

Thursday July 29 2021
hrt3pic
By Bradford Kamuntu

Relationships are constantly evolving; our idea of a relationship is not what it may necessarily be tomorrow.

Long-term and short-term relationships are obviously different from each other.

Some people are the type you would want to marry; others are good primarily for the sex.

Just in terms of the physical aspect of things, we are a more accommodating generation - the live and let live generation where we allow people to be who they wish to be.

At least, that is how conventional wisdom goes.

Not every relationship is meant for the long-haul. Often times people want a connection of some sort, physical, mental, spiritual, without it being so serious.

Advertisement

The difference

There are all sorts of short-term relationship structures out there such as the one-night stand (ONS), the friends with benefits (FWB) and the play thing (PT) (regularly scheduled sex with one person minus the friends part).

The priorities within these structures usually include a closer desire to fulfil basic needs such as sexual gratification, fun, momentary closeness with another human being, touch, self-discovery through the discovery of new people, re-examining wants for long term partnership etc.

All of that is fine and dandy, but it is a good idea to reflect on what you are looking for and why and then to communicate that with the person you are interacting with.

If you are looking for something short term and they are not, then it is not considerate to lead them on. Establish boundaries early on to avoid confusion and unnecessary pain later down the line. 

Short-term relationships serve many purposes for different people, for people on-the-go (living out of the suitcase) they are convenient you do not have to live to several expectations it works for when you are in the same location and you are done with each other.

Just like long term ones, this version of relationships serves great purpose you only see each other when there is a need, probably physical, emotional, sentimental etc.

Be objective and have realistic expectations of your union, however short the duration.

Very normal

 There will be days, or weeks, or maybe even longer, when you are not all mushy-gushy in-love. You are even going to wake up some morning and think, “Ugh, you are still here….”

That is normal!

And more importantly, sticking it out is totally worth it, because that, too, will change.

In a day, or a week, or maybe even longer, you will look at that person and a giant wave of love will inundate you, and you will love them so much you think your heart cannot possibly hold it all and is going to burst.

Because a love that is alive is also constantly evolving. It expands and contracts and mellows and deepens.

It is not going to be the way it used to be, or the way it will be, and it should not be.

If you are someone struggling with committing to long-term relationships, perhaps give yourself the opportunity to explore short-term one where you are both in the know of the rules.

Why

The purpose. Short-term relationships serve many purposes for different people, for people on the go (living out of the suitcase) they are convenient you do not have to live to several expectations it works for when you are in the same location and you are done with each other.

Advertisement