How much flirting is too much?

If you are in a relationship and either you or your partner flirt with someone else, it can be a tricky situation. On one hand, it’s not like anyone did anything physical to be construed as capital-C cheating, but on the other hand, it’s not nothing, according to some opinion.

Couples world over have several topics of debate that never seem to reach any resolution.

‘Should the toilet seat be left up or down’? ‘Who forgot to close the fridge’?  ‘Who was the best character on a television show you both watched together’? Are just a few examples of things most pairs debate over?

But of all those, none have caused as much debate as ‘how much flirting is too much’? Or the more popular ‘is flirting cheating’?

The opinions and answers to these questions differ with every human being.

My opinion is that flirting can be purely harmless fun depending on the person, but you should be smart enough to have your boundaries set so that other people know not to over play to the gallery.

And while it can be fun, I am also fully aware that even with boundaries, it could be misinterpreted and create more of a mess than anticipated, so perhaps best avoid it while in a relationship. I consider it to be one of those things where, it can be fun..... Until it is not.

Slippery slope...?

It is not lost on me that sometimes, flirting that seems innocent at first can become a ‘slippery slope’ and eventually turn into cheating.

By definition, flirting is when you intentionally want to attract the attention of someone, or when you signal an interest in interacting more with someone. These actions do not necessarily mean you want to have sex or become emotionally close to that person.

Every relationship has different rules, so there is no one-size-fits-all definition of cheating. While my personal opinion may be of the view that flirting can be innocent and harmless unless someone crosses boundaries. Other people may consider any form of flirting as an act of cheating and stepping away from the relationship.

Cheating is any behaviour that a person takes as crossing the line and betraying any boundary specific to that relationship. In some relationships that could be as minimal as talking to somebody else or even maintaining friendships with exes or past flings.

I feel like in most cases it is also important to understand what flirting is not, being nice to someone, being cordial and engaging in conversation are generally considered normal behaviour.

Talk to your partner

But with someone not accustomed to being friendly with others, or is not very sociable and slightly insecure, they might take issue with you being that way with others.

If this is a relationship you would want to last, it is perhaps vital that you have an honest and extensive conversation with your partner about how you interact with others and how you have been socialised.

In the digital age, it is easy for any correspondence on social media whether it is DMs, comments or even likes on a picture to come off as an act of flirting.

Sit down and have conversations and make sure you and your partner understand what constitutes cheating in your relationship, what you consider flirting and what you think is crossing the line.

The intention...

Someone might simply be a very outgoing person and friendly with others but have no desire to lead someone on, outside of their significant other. Yet, someone else might be trying to feel out how far they can go to get someone else’s attention, how much they can get away with, or what level of connection they can get with someone else.