I was told not to fall in love with a star

Her friends and family had warned her against dating a ‘handsome star’.  Innocent Nabasa was told men like Moses Bismac Amumpaire do not commit, so she took it slow until he proved otherwise.

Innocent met Bismac at a time when she had shelved the idea of dating. She had gone through heartbreak and her trust in men had waned. She was in her final semester at Mbarara University of Science and Technology (MUST).

Innocent had tried love and had been in three relationships; one lasted weeks, another three months, and the last one a year. “I was always the one pushing; I would fall in love with men who did all they could to make you fall in love and just as the relationship is starting, they give up,” she says.

The one

However, Bismac proved her wrong. He spent time with her, created memories with her, and always cared to know what time she slept or woke up or if she had had a meal, among other kind gestures.

“Although he was not financially stable, he always shared the little he had with me. This made me realise that love is more than saying, ‘I am dating so and so’… love is about care and commitment to see your spouse better. From day one, he has purposed to see me succeed physically, emotionally, mentally, and financially,” she recounts.

 Innocent is a journalist working with POATV Uganda, which she co-founded. She is also operations manager at Chocolate Safaris and founder of Uganda Vegan network.

Bismac is a television journalist too, with Next Media Limited. He describes his wife as beautiful, hardworking, and adorable, his best friend, and a woman he was driven to fall in love with because of her caring and respectful nature.

“She is a rare beauty who loves God and most importantly, her care towards me,” he adds. The two dated for years before he proposed to her. “I knew I wanted to make her my wife, so I thought that on one of her birthdays, I would ask her to be mine,” Bismac says.

The proposal

He did not want a big function. The task was to have her finger measured without her knowledge. He took pictures and videos as she slept, and managed to get an engagement ring that fit to perfection. For planning purposes, he collaborated with her friends, his sister as well as sisters-in-law. The plan was to organise a birthday party and then surprise her with a proposal.

To her recollection, he always forgot birthdays, including his. So, it was different this time that he not only remembered her birthday, he was also taking her out for dinner. “I was happy that he had gone out of his way to celebrate my birthday that I did not suspect a proposal. He had invited my friends and siblings and it was such a beautiful moment. He made me feel loved,” she recalls.

In her mind, it was a dream come true that despite having dated for a while, he had made up his mind to make her his wife. “And that day he proved his commitment to me. I saw a man in love and I was glad it was me he had chosen,” an elated Nabasa adds.

The moment is still unforgettable. To Bismac, it was nerve-wracking waiting on a photographer that never showed up. Nonetheless, the chef did a good job; the food was yummy.

“I was glad that I had kept the proposal a secret even from the people I had invited to the birthday party. So, everyone was equally surprised. I saw how excited she was and this made me so happy. I never knew that these things really mean a lot to women but I found out that day,” he says.

First impression

But that’s far from what her first impression of him was. When she first met him, she did not think that they could ever date. “I thought we were worlds apart. He was a Kampala boy while I was groomed in the west. He was a star then, acting as Brother Matthew in the then famous ‘The Hostel’ series. I only wanted to be his friend and perhaps through him, get some acting gigs,” she says.

When they met and later on connected, he changed the way she perceived love. “It was as if women were always on the giving end in love. Because we took long to get married, many thought our relationship was no more. Many talked, I lost friends. You see, dating a handsome man is tricky, people think you are the one pushing for the relationship to work, so when his entourage turned up in Rukungiri District for the traditional wedding, I felt justified, I was finally living my fairytale,” she recounts.

Wedding

On their wedding day, Moses sang her favourite song ‘Niiwe magaara gangye’ which she had loved right from the time she worked at Radio West in Mbarara City.

“I always put it on replay during my show. I always fantasised about Mr Right singing that song to me. Choosing to sing it  on our wedding day will forever be a special moment,” says Innocent.

From D-day, the couple set out to have a marriage based on the foundation of friendship. She adds that even when they have issues, just like any other couple, they always find a solution.

“We are more than just husband and wife. We are friends, business partners, lovers, and parents.  Our desire is to have a happy marriage, one that can withstand any storm,” she explains.

He adds that friendship was and still is key. “We were friends before we started dating. I knew her aspirations in life, and she knew mine. We try as much as possible to support each other,” Bismac says.

They plan to grow old together and build a firm foundation for their children. “We plan on great investments that impact communities. I am a humanitarian by nature and I am getting her in the same line.  Starting impactful NGOs, and successful events and travel agencies together is partly our ultimate goal,” he adds.

Advice

Bismac’s says to make a relationship work, couples must forget the fairytales they read and watch in movies. “In reality, every relationship has its ups and downs. It cannot be a smooth ride. Communication is key. Patience and understanding each other’s strength and weaknesses are also vital,” Amumpaire says.