It might be the new trend among some young people but dating a married man does not make it normal. The married men have a sleek tongue that is both convincing and confusing, they usually have a generous hand that is hard to resist, especially among our financially challenged females but when you sign up for this kind of a relationship, it is wise to not count your chickens until they are hatched.
I respect my Muslim sisters for their sharing spirit and I am yet to find someone who will genuinely say that they are fine sharing a spouse even when they are raised to expect it. And to other people who are raised with a monogamous mindset, imagine the shock.
“I am not happy in my marriage” he might say. “I am going to get a divorce” they love that line too. Poor girl, you fall for the lie and all he is seeing is a lamb getting ready to be slaughtered. The gifts might keep flowing which might send you deeper into the temptation. You cannot resist, and finally when you give in, reality kicks in.
No, my dear sister, he is not going to spend all nights at your house. You will even be lucky if he spends one. But he will be serious and jealous enough not to allow any other man in that nice apartment he is paying for.
Months will turn into years and well, you might even visit the labour ward and crown yourself a mistress. Meanwhile, he is doing nothing about the divorce plan he had mentioned earlier. From a side chick, to mistress and now a single mother. That is just the beginning, your child too gets to pay by not being officially welcome into the family. Some religions will not even baptise a child out of wedlock. Your child might have his name but not his time and affection. They instantly become the other child. You might claim for equal rights and treatment but this cry is likely going to be frustrated.
All this is hopefully if the wife didn’t find about you earlier and hire ‘mafias’ to pull your hair off the scalp and leave you toothless. Yes, some women are willing to fight for their marriages at a cost they might never mention. So, you have a sworn enemy.
And your parents, how are you even going to introduce him to them? The disappointment on their faces might be the darkness in your life. The judgement from your friends will drive you into a depression.
My sister, it might look like gold on the outside but so are most medication capsules, sugar-coated is the word. Once you swallow more than you can chew, you either choke and spit out or suffocate while trying to swallow. Because this relationship will suffocate you, it will drain all esteem from you.
I believe that all women deserve happiness, you are worth more than a second position. You might be desperate, I understand, but hope is the only thing that we hold onto. One day, a man who will love you the way you deserve will walk your way but once you are holding onto the impossible, you block the possible. Just saying, count the cost before you are swept off a slippery floor, for when you lose your grip, you might never get it back.