Moments we hold dear should be celebrated in private

Thursday October 15 2020

A man proposing to a woman. PHOTO/FILE/NET

By Bradford Kamuntu

Recently, my social media feed (and I doubt I am alone in this) has been awash with lavish proposals and engagement parties and please believe when I say I am not here to hate. Congratulations to those individuals, wish you a lifetime of happiness.  

It got me thinking. There is a bit of an obsession with engagements and weddings in this country (heck, in this region) and maybe it is the skeptic in me but a lot of these engagements seem very surface, very shallow, very mimicking pop culture and less about the love of two people. It is very much in the key of come look at me and this person, see how many events we can afford to put on or “oh look, I have found the one”. 

And not that any of these people owe us an explanation as to why they have chosen to celebrate their love the way they have. However, we cannot sit and act like these engagements are more about putting on a show and less about choosing to spend the rest of your life with someone.

We are a generation that is driven by showing people we have love in our lives as opposed to actually nurturing that love. Furthermore, we are more in love with the idea of an engagement, the idea of a significant other and an over the top ceremony than we are with said person.

I love opulence (if it is done tastefully) and I am very much a “if you have got it flaunt it” kind of person but I think there is more to be said about this topic than just the material aspect of things.

We have become extremely occupied with what our love may look like to others as opposed to how it feels like to us. A lot of time is spent on planning and executing events and not enough time is taken getting to know the person we plan on spending the greater part of our lives with.


We are fixated on the image of love and not love itself, which I find extremely disheartening. Some of us go into it with the right intentions, only to realise we are spending our time with a wannabee influencer.

Nothing about love seems sacred anymore. It is all about how many more people can we involve, what reach capacity does this image have so that everyone can see how in love I am. A façade. 

I hate to touch on topics and leave you in the throes of my negative tone and not give actual solutions (well, what I personally may consider to be solutions). 

For starters, let us get back to the drawing board and ask yourself; am I in love with the person I am with? Do I see this as something longterm and if the answer is yes, you then should ask yourself how you should look after this relationship going forward.

It is very natural to want to share your good news with your loved ones, well-wishers and maybe even those that do not wish you well. But first, hold that even in private, share the intimacy of that event between the two of you and then share the news with others. 

You are not a reality TV star whose life needs to be documented 24/7 nor are you in a popularity contest with the entire population and as such, there is no need for such a sacred moment to be made public.

You can indulge in all the luxuries modern day proposals have to offer and still enjoy that special moment in private and subsequently share the news with everyone else, eventually, without having to broadcast it in its entirety.

Let us put the meaning of love back in the occasions and moments we hold so dear. Let us make it less about putting on a show and more about making some or one of the most important decisions in our lives.