Nothing has changed for the Mwines since they began dating

It’s only a few weeks since you got married; tell us briefly how marriage life is going so far?
Ben: Everything is okay so far.

Rachael: Nothing has really changed since he is still the same person. He is still my friend and the same playful and understanding Ben.

What did you love most about your wedding day?
Ben: We did some hilarious things on that day. For instance at some point after the service, Rachael checked me using a hand metal detector and we used a taxi as our ride while one of the groomsmen acted as the conductor. We also went to a petrol station in Lugogo where Rachael, while still wearing her wedding gown, changed a tyre and filled someone’s car. She was afterwards tipped by the car owner.

Why did you decide to do this the unusual way?
Rachael: It is because we did not want to undergo the same usual wedding ritual of going to either the studio or gardens to take pictures. We wanted to try something different.

Whose idea was it?
Ben: A friend of ours on the organising committee suggested it.

So, how did the two of you meet?
Rachael: We met at Power FM in 2008 where I had gone to look for a job as a news anchor. Ben was the station manager by then. He is the one who listened to my demo (demonstration).

When did you finally get the job?
Racheal: Just a few weeks later.

Did the relationship start immediately you moved to the station?
Rachael: No, it did not. We did not even start off as friends because Ben was my boss. So it was mostly a boss and employee kind of relationship. Then once in a while, we would exchange pleasantries for instance ask how someone was doing. We kept the relationship at work very professional.

When did you start dating officially?
Ben: In December last year.

Last year? Why did it take the two of you that long to start dating?
Ben: Rachael liked me but then she decided not to make herself available because of a lot of things that were happening in my life. I got a child for instance with another woman. So, she decided to date someone else, a decision I assumed she made without enough thought and preparation. Deep down, I was still convinced that I was still the landlord of her heart.

So Ben, how did you eventually convince Rachael to become your wife?
I sat her down and told her to stop being stupid because none of us was young, there was no time for games and we were supposed to be together.

Stop being stupid? Wasn’t that a little rude?
Ben: I was just repeating the words a friend had told me to tell her after explaining to him the problems that Rachael and I had at that time.

Rachael, how did you react to Ben’s statement?
Honestly I was very confused because here was a man who was telling me how much he loved me and yet I was seeing someone else. But we were eventually able to sort out our differences and finally agreed to settle down as husband and wife.

In which church were the two of you wed?
Ben: Rachael has grown up praying from Deliverance Church in Makerere while I have been with Watoto Church for most of my life. It is because of these affiliations that we decided to have services from both churches. We first had a service from Watoto at 10am and then went to Deliverance Church at 12pm. We later had our reception at Kati Kati restaurant in Lugogo at about 4pm.

Rachael, what was going through your mind as you were marching towards Ben in church?
I was very happy and thrilled because I was getting married to my friend.

Ben?
Just like her. I was very excited that I was getting married to a wonderful lady, who was my best friend.

Rachael, you know that there are thousands of men in this country, but you chose Ben, why?
It is because of a number of reasons. I am able to connect with him at so many levels. He gets me and I get him. I have not previously really had a lot of connections with other guys. With Ben, everything occurs naturally. Also, one of his other greatest qualities which I think I have never told him before is that he is repentant. When he wrongs or disappoints you, there is a genuine “I am sorry and want to turn away from what I have done,” which is something you don’t get in a lot of other people.

Ben, why Rachael in particular?
It is impossible to find her angry for long. Rachael will always find a way of reconciling with those she has wronged. That is one of the things you do not find in a lot of other people. Also, she is a very simple, classy woman and above all, someone a person can easily count on.

What are some of the things that you do not like about each other?
Rachael: Ben is very opinionated and he talks too much. But lucky for him, I am very flexible.

Ben: Whenever we are in a public place, I am normally the hyper one while she is the type who would rather listen to an ongoing conversation or play with her phone.

How do you spend your free time together?
Rachael: We love going for concerts as well as eating out.

Ben: As well as going out for movies and watching football. Rachael is not, however, passionate about football as I am.

Ben, on September 8 you stood at the Pulpit of Watoto Church, Central and asked for forgiveness from God and the congregation for having a child out of wedlock. Did the church force you to confess or was it a personal decision?
One of the things people must understand is that one of the biggest problems in Africa is that there is lack of accountability among our leaders. People think that they can do whatever they want and get away with it. When you have the sort of responsibilities that I have had, you have many young people who look up at you in so many ways. So, when I make a mistake such as having a child out of wedlock, it is easy to bury that and think everything is okay. But then, you have a lot of people talking behind your back saying this and that. So, we were having a chat with the leadership at Watoto and they asked me whether confessing was something I wanted to do. So I told them that definitely, I had no problem with going ahead to do that. It was an option and I was not forced to do it. That is something you got to put out of the way so that in future, someone does not use it against you. It was something that I gladly did. The lesson from that is that as a leader, you have to be accountable to your people. It is not about the church or their policy.

Rachael, were you with Ben when he made the confession?
Yes, I was right by his side.

How did you feel?
I cannot say that it was easy because Ben had to make the confession in five different services in the same church. However, what helped the situation was the fact that Ben was very strong and I believe that I drew my strength from him. The other aspect that helped was that I learnt how to deal with the whole situation before, that is, the whole judgment and pointing of fingers. So by the time of the confession, it was healing and a relief.

Did any of you read the local tabloid that published the confession a week later?
Ben: No, I didn’t. It was not really a big deal to me. I don’t know what those people wrote about me because I have never read it. The only thing that I saw was the cover “Sex in Watoto Church” with my picture plastered on the front page. I was like: I don’t care about what they are saying, whether it was the truth or not because the people who mattered in my life already knew the truth.

Rachael: No, I did not read it because I found no point in doing so, although a lot of people verbally volunteered the information.

Were you affected in anyway by the article?
Ben: No. Not a little bit.

Rachael: No, I was not as well.

Ben, does it bother you at all when people ask about your son?
No, it does not bother me. This is because he is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. He is called Jeremiah. He is one year and two months old now.

How is your relationship with Jeremiah’s mother?
Ben: We made our peace.

Regarding the issue of challenges in your relationship, how do you deal with them?
Ben: Rachael and I have a good foundation of friendship and we love each other very much. So regardless of how angry and bitter one of us is towards the other, it always falls back to these attributes.

Rachael: I agree with Ben.

What is your advice to other newly-married couples?
Ben: In order for everything to be okay, everything must bow to the foundation of love and their hearts must be yielded to God as well.

Rachael: Just like what Ben has said, if you are sure about your relationship or love for each other, the foundation of your marriage will always be strong. Also involving God in your marriage lessens the chances of you hurting your partner.
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Quick test:
BEN
What is Rachael’s favourite meal?
Ben: She loves eating chicken.

Rachael: It is actually rice, pork and chapatti.

Her favourite song and artiste?
Ben: She will listen to a song depending on what is going on in her life at that particular moment.

Rachael: He is right. There are many different songs that speak to me differently depending on what I am going through.

Her best colour?
Ben: She loves brown a lot with a little bit of yellow.

Rachael: My favourite colour is yellow.

Her favourite television programme?
Ben:The Big Bang Theory series.

Rachael: It is Scandal.

What is the colour of her toothbrush?
Ben: I think it is blue in colour.

Rachael: Yes, it is blue.

What is it about you that irritates her most?
Ben: Leaving my clothes scattered all over the room and littering banana peels all over the kitchen.

Rachael: Actually it is the fact that he is opinionated. When he is bent on doing something, it may not be easy to change his mind.

RACHAEL
What is Ben’s favourite football team?
Rachael: Liverpool

Ben: She is right. It is Liverpool

His favourite song and artiste?
Rachael: He likes a lot of songs depending on what is happening in his life at that particular time.

Ben: Yes, I do like all sorts of songs that reflect my mood at that particular time.

Best colour?
Rachael: Blue

Ben: Yes, my favourite colour is blue.

His favourite movie?
Rachael: Hard to tell since he watches too many movies.

Ben: My favourite movie is The Bodyguard.

What is the colour of his toothbrush?
Rachael: He has a white and green one

Ben: I have quite a number of them. But I know that there is a green one somewhere.

What is it about you that annoys him the most?
Rachael: The amount of time I spend in the salon bothers him.

Ben: She does not get ready on time.

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