It is February folks. That time of year when many around the world celebrate love. As we inch closer to the day, I am reminded of an incident I witnessed last year, the day after Valentine’s Day. I was stuck in traffic watching two men fight over a woman. One man was shedding tears. The girl was torn. From the face of it, her dilemma seemed understandable.
The crying guy was cute, well-groomed. From the way he was handling the situation, he even seemed to have better manners but the more aggressive guy had the girl by the hand and seemed, at least in the moment, to be winning. To this date, I still wonder what became of the love triangle but it made me wonder how many conflicts were happening in the aftermath of the lovers’ day.
A florist confided on the day after Valentine’s, that flower sales had been so high the supply was stretched but on the flip side, the complications were playing out too. So, as we approach this Valentine’s, it may be helpful to think about where that relationship is going. I am not saying that you should give the partner an ultimatum because that backfires a lot, but it would do to assess if you are getting your needs met or you are in for another long ride until next Valentine’s.
If you were to give a relationship update, what would it say? Single? Single and content? In a relationship? An open relationship? (Yes, those exist), married, divorced or is it complicated?
A lot happens in the complicated zone of relationships and it appears, at least from the number of agony questions posted online, aired on radio and sometimes TV, that love is a complicated thing indeed. So, what steps are you taking to simplify your relationship this year? You probably need to get out of an entanglement or a dead end relationship. The thing is, everyone may give you advice, from counsellors to family members but at the end of the day, it is your situation and you decide how you want to handle it.
Are you failing to make up your mind about the different love candidates in your life? Have you tried a list of pros and cons? It may seem silly but applying some logic and science in your choice may be just what the doctor ordered. A cold hard analysis could save you from closing a year of uncertainty or shabby treatment with chocolate and roses.
On the other hand, perhaps it is the season for those who are single to let loose and try some fun dating, no strings attached. Buying that person a drink or dinner does not automatically make you their partner for life. A date could just be a date. Valentine’s Day could be more fun if we removed the weight of expectations. It is not a do or die affair. It should not be. It is fantastic if you have a true love to celebrate but if that someone has not come along, or you just broke up, this could be the space to breathe and lavish some attention on yourself.
We often strive to do so much for others, leaving no room for self-care and setting ourselves up for disappointment. So, dress nice, eat well and stay safe. Perhaps the love will happen next Valentine’s Day or perhaps not. Again, that boy or girl you buy gifts on Valentine’s Day is not automatically your mate for life. Leave some room for adjustment, failure and surprises. Until next Valentine’s, good luck!