The Musisis celebrate 30 years  of hardship, love and prosperity

Love is a journey we embark on at anyone stage of our lives, however, only a few of us are blessed to make it last for so many years. Dr Stuart Musisi and his wife Lilian Namugambe celebrated their 30th anniversary on August 28, 2023.

They say, “Celebrating 30 years of our marriage is very exciting because it is such a big victory that many of our friends have not reached.”
Stuart and Lilian met in 1989 while at the university. Stuart says, “She was and is still very beautiful. I needed her to be my wife.” However, Lilian recalls that by the time her husband proposed to her, she had not made an informed decision to get married. 

“I was still young and enjoying life after school, but my husband was serious on making me his wife. We had our introduction and wedding in 1993.”
In the past, ceremonies were the community’s responsibility to contribute financially towards one’s victory. Since Stuart had a lot of friends from his home village in Masaka, they contributed towards all their wedding expenses. 

Marriage life
Lilian admits that their early years of marriage were not easy because they had no money, but this did not stop them from going out with their friends as well. Being a young couple, fresh from university, they worked towards having a good livelihood and providing for their family.
The couple says that over the years, their marriage has required a lot of sacrifices especially for their children. 

Lilian says, “A lot of concentration has been on the children however, we have now reminded ourselves that we need to take care and support each other in our old age.”
On their 25th anniversary, the couple renewed their vows and look forward to celebrating as many anniversaries as long as they are still alive. 
Parenting 
The Musisis are blessed with four children and are proud of the special gifts from God. They advise parents to invest in their children and give them all the time, guidance, resources and social support in order to get good returns. 
“At times it is hard to believe that they are our children. They have made us proud. As parents, it is never an easy life, dealing with work, children and the home,” Lilian says.

However, Staurt says, “whereas raising children is a stressing activity, as a parent, you should not give up on providing and supporting the children because this is why we are now jubilating.”
They also advise parents to keep their children in school, and encourage them to go to church always.

Lilian reminds parents that conflicts will always come up in any relationship but should never involve their children. 
“Children should never know your weak points. This will make them side with either parent, and it will be hard for you to apologise to them. It will damage them psychologically.”

The Musisis have learnt to value the aspect of togetherness. Lilian says, “We value moments of togetherness and we always pray for this because it is a strong pillar for our sustainability and has helped us solve conflicts.” 

Advice
Lilian remarks that letting your partner be who they are is something that will keep a couple happy. Stuart admits going out and returning home late in the night during his early years of marriage and his wife was always welcoming and happy to see him back.
She also adds that whereas there is a trend of people getting married, young people should not be pressured into it unless they are ready.  She says, “Taking your time to find someone that you love will save you from having regrets.”

They also advise couples to be apologetic and willing to forgive each other in cases of a misunderstanding. Being appreciative of each other is important too. Saying an open thank you and also gifting each other adds value to love.

Whereas no one is perfect, the couple believe that one of the spouse needs to ensure that they transform their partner to someone they want to live with so that there is mutual  connection.

Importantly the couple says, “People need to have the commitment to working with their partners to take the family forward. Have no secrets, and remember that children are a two-person job. Lead your children by example and in case of shortcomings financially, support your partner through it.”
Lilian says whereas women tend to leave the financial burden to men, it is important for them to have a source of income so that they can contribute towards a family’s achievements such as land, and other investments.

The evening years
Lilian is currently a District Community Officer working with Masaka District Local Government, while Musisi is a retired medical doctor
Together, they have educated their children, built a home, earned reasonable social capital and invested in various businesses that they prospect to earn from a living after retirement.

The couple also practices farming during their free time and because they have various social networks, they are also able to attend different events and functions that enable them have holidays together.
The couple planned to retire honourably and live healthy, see their children become successful, and also have a chance to have grand children whom they will support on behalf of their children.