We dated with a goal

The couple with their entourage on their wedding day. Photos /BeaTrice Nakibuuka. 

What you need to know:

  • He first seemed like  he was joking. On Valentine’s day in 2020, Ivan Asingura and  Faith Nasingura started dating but with an aim for marriage. If it did not work out, the were ready to let go. They shared their love story with Beatrice Nakibuuka.

When Ivan Asingura asked Faith Nagaba to be her date on Valentine’s Day in 2020, they instead dated for marriage. The two gave themselves an ultimatum that if they did not wed in the next two or three years, they would go separate ways. 
Ivan and Faith first met at church in 2018 at a mutual friend’s wedding. They were on a WhatsApp group where Ivan was the treasurer. There, Faith had made a pledge and when she wanted to send through her contribution, she looked through the group directory for his contact number and found it with the help of  his profile picture.

 “I sent my contribution but I was unable to attend the function. After some time, I asked Ivan how he had been but he flatteringly said our wedding would be next. I treated that as a joke,” Faith recalls.
Meanwhile friend had shared pictures of Faith with Ivan but he seemed cold. Later, he confessed to liking her and they casually talked once in a while. Ivan remarks that he was interested in her but she had acted indifferently. So, he somehow gave up on her.
“I continued texting her and liking her statuses but I felt like she was distant and in a relationship. And, since I lived in Entebbe at the time and she was at Kyambogo University, I did not see her often,” he says.

Both attended a week of prayer at Kyambogo SDA Church. In the evening, Ivan escorted Faith to her hostel and henceforth, their communication became more frequent.  
“He used to refer to me as his crush and I responded the same way but the feeling was not mutual. I never took Ivan seriously,” she recalls.  
On Valentine’s Day in 2020, he asked her to be his date. Faith accepted. 
“This was our first date and I professed my feelings towards her. She asked for time to think about it. In due course, I endeavoured to keep communication consistent through calls and texts. I would call her at 3am for us to pray together on phone,” he reveals.

Dating with a goal set
After some time, she agreed to his proposal but she was clear that their dating had to lead to a marriage after at least two years. Faith used the time to concentrate on her education and did some personal reflection on her understanding of love and marriage.
Although they had different backgrounds, had a similar understanding of what lay ahead of them.
“We aimed at a relationship that would lead to marriage. Luckily, we had a similar understanding of what marriage and love was because we read the same books. She knew that love was not for fun and it is more than just feelings. Faith is God-fearing and respectful. There could be no better match for me than her,” Ivan says.

While dating, they met each other’s families and attended different events at their respective homes. In July 2021, Ivan told Faith that he would marry her and that he needed to see her parents. A month later, Faith broke the news to her family that she was seeing someone and on December 28, 2021, they had kukyaala.
The couple had planned to wed during the pandemic where the numbers were restricted but because they were short of finances, they postponed and involved their friends and families who contributed generously towards their functions.

The costs
The Asinguras had their introduction and wedding events done in the village (their villages are a 30-minutes’ drive apart). This saved them the cost of transporting the relatives to and from Kampala.
The couple also chose to have their events a few hours away from each other, so they got a discount from service providers. Also, since it was Easter season, there are few of such events so the service providers usually do their best because they are not in a rush.

 “We fuelled our friends’ cars which saved us from the extra cost of hiring bridal cars. The food was readily available in the village, so we only hired caterers that cooked and served the food. There was just plenty of it that everyone ate,” he says.
Since Ivan had been a chairperson participated in organising several weddings, he knew most of the service providers and others he had landed by reference. The couple also delegated most of the work to the organising committee.

“I hired my gown from Scarlet Bridals at Shs1m and a changing dress from Golden Dreams at Shs300,000. That was all that mattered to me. I do not know how much the make-up and hairstyling cost. My husband did not want to be stressed, so we left out the groomsmen and only had a best man and my team,” she says.

The moments
Faith’s best moment was when she was entering the church with the entourage and how the congregation cheered them on. Ivan loved the fact that his wife was very happy throughout, the vibrant entourage and the food.
The Asinguras had their introduction on the eve of the wedding and they had had a thorough preparation for the big day but they had chosen a best man who was not married.

“He is my good friend and I knew that he was not married but I thought we could get someone else to sign on our marriage certificate. The wedding officiant refused and I was very disappointed. This disorganized my day,” Ivan says.
The couple had to quickly looked around for a married man who would fit in the clothes of the best man and fortunately, a cousin did. After the church service, the intended best man wore his clothes again and the celebrations went on.
Also, Faith was disappointed in her make-up and remarks that if she had a chance to do things better, she would choose a better make-up artist.

Now that the couple is married for more than nine months, Faith remarks that marriage is a commitment you make without coercion. Therefore, it is what you choose to make it.
“Also, marriages are different and what works for one family may not work for another. It is always important to choose what works for you,” she cautions.
Ivan believes that marriage is what you choose to make it. 
“Marriage has different stages but also, the people in it are uniquely different. It is therefore, important that you understand your partner and try to discover who that person is.”

April 14, 2022

Ivan Asingura

Faith Nagaba

 Ishaka Adventist Church

Pr David Twiine

Reception: Peak Hotel Ishaka


Shs 28m