We had the most difficult conversations at the start

Most relationships begin by discovering ways you and your partner are alike, relishing those things and celebrating the goals, values, and dreams that make you believe you have found the perfect partner. But just as partners are alike in some ways, they are also different in others, although it can be tough to see in the beginning.

And as relationships progress, partners can change, discovering new goals and values and uncovering more differences instead of similarities.

When Immaculate Maria Namakula, a money lender and Ronald Segawa, a pharmacist, met, they chose to bring up the difficult conversations in the initial stages of their relationship. To begin, Immaculate shared her fear of raising step children.

“I told Ronald that because I had overheard or seen what stepchildren go through at the hands of the people entrusted to take care of them, I did not wish to raise any stepchildren,” she says, adding that thankfully, Ronald was in agreement saying he did not wish to have any children outside their marriage.

However, given life’s uncertainties, Immaculate remained open-minded saying, “I am open to God’s will and if it comes down to me raising any stepchildren, then I would have had the best practice since I am currently taking care of my nephew and other relatives.”

On the other hand, Ronald was uncomfortable with her male friends.

He shares: “My wife’s male friends outnumbered her female friends which took a lot of getting used to.”

After discussing all this, the couple moved on to getting to know each other better and understanding each other’s character traits. Although Immaculate is outspoken and a go-getter, Ronald, who is more reserved has had to accept her traits and live with them.

Falling in love

On August 12, 2016, the couple met and fell in love at first sight and knew straight away they wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.

“We met at a pharmacy where Ronald worked. I had a bad cold and went to the Pharmacy for some medication. And although I was down and weak, my day was made better by a hearty conversation and laughter from Ronald,” she says.

Immaculate says she immediately fell in love with Ronald’s calmness, a virtue she admits has not changed.

“My wife has always had a unique smile. It is assuring, warm and magnetic,” shares Ronald.

Because of her smile, he knew she was for keeps and wanted to know her better. The two exchanged phone numbers and stayed in touch.

Dating

Ronald remembers their dates as refreshing. He recounts: “On each date, we would talk for hours, creating more memories.”

And after about a year of dating, on July 12, 2017, Ronald visited Immaculate’s parents’ home in Kauga, Mukono District.

Wedding

According to the love birds, they took a step back and left the wedding preparations to their families and the selected committee members. Immaculate says her mother chose the theme colour and designed the day’s menu.

“My family held several meetings to raise funds and plan all the logistics, which made it a smooth ride for us. We received so much support and all the burden was taken from us leaving us to enjoy the days leading up to the wedding and the wedding itself to the fullest,” Ronald notes.

He boasts of a successful function free of debt, except for the loopholes in security.

“The committee registered lost drinks at the wedding venue. I wished we had done better by employing a security team to manage such occurrences,” he adds.

With a high turn up of about 1,000 guests, Immaculate and Ronald walked down the aisle on August 12, 2017 at St Paul’s Catholic Church in Mukono District. The couple later hosted their guests to a reception at Alvers Hotel, Wantoni in Mukono District.

“We did not want to limit the numbers. We left it as an open ceremony for everyone and luckily, we had the capacity to feed all our guests,” Ronald says.

However, the groom expresses his disappointment in service providers and their poor service delivery at the reception.

“People were served food later than the agreed time. I was unhappy that they kept my guests hungry,” says Ronald.

One thing though that startled the bride were the speeches.

“I came to learn that not everything spoken at weddings is the gospel truth. I watched people with ill motives pretend that they were happy for us yet I knew their real feelings,” Immaculate says.

So far

The couple says the journey so far is both thrilling and rough. However, love and commitment have been their pillars for the last five years.

“At one point, we experienced infertility. However, we stood by each other and refrained from blame games,” Ronald says.

Three years later, their patience paid off and they were blessed with a baby boy.

Immaculate tips on how to live peacefully with one’s in-laws:

“All families have misunderstandings but I avoid getting into arguments with my in-laws. And if they do something that really annoys me, I am always forgiving and try to find a way to settle the dispute without causing any rifts in the family,’ she says.

On making a marriage thrive, the couple says: “Couples should be intentional in making it work because eventually, it gets easier and enjoyable.”