In praise of the Bulinda girls

I have kept a big secret for a long time. I had planned never to reveal this secret until at that point in time when its revelation would not disadvantage me. But for the sake of good ‘Ugandaness’, a secret shared is a secret enjoyed. There is a school past the Equator, it is Christ the King SS Kalisizo, aka Bulinda. Bulinda is the best kept secret in Uganda. I will be persecuted for revealing this secret, but some secrets are better kept with the public. 

As you already know, I went to St. Henry’s College Kitovu (SHACK) for my O-Level. When your school is in Masaka, the geography will always disadvantage you. It locks out most of your options. Few headteachers are willing to risk their school buses to such distances. That automatically locked us out of the Gungas and Sunsas of Uganda. It was the first lesson in life, that sometimes it is where you are born, it is the environment.

 You could be very hardworking (does not apply to Bebe Cool) but the environment will just fail to click. For Kitovu, we were everything, we spoke the good English, we had the best dance strokes having invented and raised Jabba, and above all we were suave, but the ka-distance! 
On any other day, had Kitovu been a few kilometres next to Kampala, Uganda would cry. There is no competition. Everything comes natural to a SHACKIST, everything that pertains to greatness and excellence. 

Now that we were locked out of options, we had to settle for the choices that Masaka brought us. We had the immediate neighbours, aka Archbishop Kiwanuka Secondary. These were our sures, our plan Z when everything has failed us. But somehow, we never love our sures, we are always taken by the things out of our reach, the impossibilities. Why is this the case with life? Why do we desire the things we cannot have? There were schools such as Bwanda, but that too did not count. There was Horizon girls (but they had since blacklisted us for having mistaken them for Jurassic Park). But people, there was Bulinda. 

Bulinda, Bulinda, Bulinda was the school. It is like we had been made for each other. Two gemstones hidden far away from the madding crowd of schools. We were the perfect royal story, conjoined by the geography, and perfected by our solitary lives. Bulinda was shepherded by the nuns, we were being captained by the brothers of Christian Instruction. Our love had been tuned to the Solfeggio frequencies. It was from this love, that the lines ‘a match made in Heaven’ were crafted.

But there was always a fix with Bulinda. You were never certain. Sister Margaret Nanteza (RIP) employed a trick from the books of Economics. She played that one trick term after term; ‘scarcity breeds demand.’ She rarely released those girls. And when she did, only the best exited the gates. At least that is the impression we got. There was never a flawed Bulinda girl. If class had a market, Bulinda was the place where class was being produced. Yes, you are now about to complain that Gungas has those high-waist styles, you have not seen a Bulinda girl. You have not seen her rocking her skirt. Those girls had put the F in Fashion. They were the Bayern of the Bundesliga, the Barcelona of La Liga. While the Man Uniteds of this world, aka Sunsas played in the Premier League, they were no match for the Bulindas in the Masaka league. 

Thus, today I am glad to announce that past the equator, there are only two secrets; Kitovu and Bulinda. And if you dared life so much and sought the Interact Club of Bulinda, then you have hit the jackpot of gemstones. Imagine finding the emeralds and amethysts in one locale, that is the Interact Club of Bulinda. And once again, if luck befell you and you chanced upon the President of the Interact Club of Bulinda, then you would have met the person that inspired Zari.

Speaking of Zari, is she not the singular cause of slaying in Uganda? Did slaying have a definition before Zari? One of these days, we must recognise Zari as a revolutionary. Some girls in this town have been moments, others have been seasons, we have also had a few years, but for Zari, she is a generation. She has remained relevant; she has that thing we call staying power... a the thing that only the gods grant you. That has been Zari for you. And that is why Bulinda and Kitovu are here today, they have the staying power. 

In other good news, 2023 is about to sign out. With it, it brought the mother of potholes and the mother of floods. But 2023 is the year we also learntabout humility. Anti Salvado out of sheer excitement dared a top entrepreneur in this town to share tax returns and they compare. For the first time, the man from Ombokolo was shocked to learn the hard way. That your peak level is usually someone’s baseline. Life is for calm people. Where were we? On Bulinda people! That is the message today, nothing but Bulinda! 
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