Birthdays call for deep reflections

About 5am, unusual movements and mumbling engulfed the house. The children were trying to pull off a surprise. I lay on my bed quietly, but I could hear their steps and activities. After a while, the older one entered my room and joyfully started singing. She was holding a cake in her hands that had two big candles.

It was yet another lockdown birthday, quiet and very personal. As I did some flashback, I started connecting dots of how this small celebration had been planned and executed.

“How was your birthday? What did you do?” Those are the two repeated questions that I received through the week. And often times, I was not sure about the kind of response they expected.

Truth is, with each year of growing younger and fresher, there are fewer and less words to describe situations and circumstances. Milestones such as birthdays become quiet moments of deep reflection.

Why? Because despite the reality that you have added another year and that you are thankful, the deeper question revolves around purpose. We tend to reflect on how well we are walking in our place of divine purpose and calling.

“But aren’t you complicating things? What is wrong with a birthday party or celebration?” There is nothing wrong with birthday celebrations. In fact, for people that I care about, I will go all out to celebrate them.

I believe in celebrations and recognising people when they are still alive. We all desire and thrive from being loved and celebrated. I thanked my children for their efforts in surprising me very early on my birthday before anyone else did. I was deeply touched by the kindness and thoughtfulness of friends across different platforms.

When the music stopped and the celebrations became silent, I sat back and reflected on life. I thought about my role as mother and was tempted to reprimand myself. Then I thought of ways to do things differently and to be a better parent.

I am a stickler for a high standard of doing things. I believe and push for excellence at all levels, demanding that even the cleaning rug must be clean and kept in a certain place and a certain way.

But over the years, I have learnt that not everyone appreciates things being done a certain way and that many find offence when they are made to work that way. We are all different.  I have learnt not to impose my standards and beliefs on those who do not appreciate them.