Prime
The words we speak into our children
Min Atek
What you need to know:
I do not know the reason and perhaps I really do not need to know, but each time I frustrated my dear mother, she would mention how people said something about me. How they had warned her of the nuisance I was to be in the not so distant future
I still recall the conversations by women in the neighbourhood. They were intense words carrying venom and guile. Words said about an innocent young girl. Words that predicated a bleak future.
I do not know the reason and perhaps I really do not need to know, but each time I frustrated my dear mother, she would mention how people said something about me. How they had warned her of the nuisance I was to be in the not so distant future.
Thankfully, the words of those who predicted doom and gloom about my innocent future and how I would amount to nothing, worked the opposite. They fired me up. They became one of the underlying motivation for me to go the extra mile. I quickly realised that I had no option but to outdo and to outrun the naysayers.
I made up my mind to disappoint and break their negative expectations. Their cynicism fuelled my ambition to do more out of life.
Words! Words! Words! They have the power to make or break a child. They have the power to make or destroy destinies, nations and the world.
I remember my Senior Two French teacher. By her words and actions, she managed to kill the smallest desire I had to learn the language.
Many decades later, while in France, I mumbled the few words that I recalled through the years. An attempt to resurrect what she killed. As parents, what words are we speaking to our children? To everyone handling children, what are you declaring into their present and future?
In times of frustration and disappointment, when the children do not turn out like we expected, are we cognisant of the danger that can come from our words to them?
“You will not amount to anything. You are so lazy and I am tired of your attitude. You are such a menace and a pain. The world is going to be hard for you.”
The intensity of those words, spoken in the fleet of a moment of, perhaps, sincere exasperation, have the ability to kill something in the child.
They have the ability to create a wound whose scar can last a lifetime. They can grossly impair a child’s destiny, while affecting generations to come.
Some of the world’s greatest misfits were created by the words of their nurturers. They became abusers of others because they suffered extensive abuse and the cycle continued through the years. We are not simply raising children, we are impacting generations to come. May we be mindful of the words we say.
