When selfishness and entitlement creep in

I opened the door, put my bags down, switched on the light and looked at the clock on my phone. It was 3:02am. The house was quiet because everyone was fast asleep.

A little yellow paper caught my attention. In a neat handwriting, he had written me a welcome home note, hoping I had had a worthwhile trip. He signed off as always, “your son!”

This warmed my heart although my mind was also aware of the circumstances I had left the house, three days earlier. If there is anything that has stretched me significantly, it has been raising teenagers.

I am a stickler for very neat and organised spaces and for the life of me, I am unable to comprehend how folk can live comfortably and be at peace, when a place is dirty, disorganised and messy.

Living with teenagers means they will largely do things their way, regardless of how many times you rant, plead, demand or threaten on how things should be.

Over and over, the child will leave a trail of the food while eating, place their unwashed utensils in the sink and walk away to watch the very television you pay for without butting an eyelid.

They will then proceed to the bathroom and leave it wet and upside down, before leaving the corridor and bedroom littered with rubbish, unwashed clothes, underwear, cups, used plates with tissue, chicken bones and toothpaste. 

It takes significant growing to walk past all the debris in the house without tripping over a chair, a shoe or football.

It takes patience to look past all that, get into your own room, breathe in and out, take a shower in a messy bathroom, clean it up and spray the toilet, then go to your room, enter your bed then sleep peacefully.  On waking the next day, you pick yourself up from where you stopped and go to work for the human beings who are fast asleep in your house, without contributing much to the bills and expenses.

As you deal with that, the child who nearly run you insane, will walk up to you and ask for money for data and airtime for their phone, which has been pre-occupying them the whole time that you were seeking their attention.

It takes self-control not to scream out loud at them for their selfishness, insensitivity and entitlement. Yet, that is the cycle of life. You collect your thoughts together and call the child and you explain your frustration to them the umpteenth time.

They look down with guilt and shame as though they are sorry,  only for them to repeat the  cycle.

Remind yourself that you are sowing seeds of responsibility and sensitivity in the ground of their hearts. Nudge yourself not to lose it, but continue watering those seeds, certain that one day, they will grow into trees that will bear much fruit.  After all, you too were once a nuisance teenager.