What you need to know:
- More time: If we give Dombo a little more time, he will probably discover that one of the problems with diapers is that it makes mothers carry their babies around without worrying that their poop will spill over or stink.
- Per Dombo excellence, we need to drag mothers back to that time when they went to public and a trail of flies followed to feast on the stench from their babies.
There is someone named Dombo in this country. I don’t know him personally and I wouldn’t accept money at my ‘brokest’ moment to know him. But I understand Dombo is clever by a half and you know that is not good.
Last week, the man named Dombo blurted out something that can make a dry mahogany wood cringe. He said disposable diapers are a luxury and should be taxed.
The man named Dombo added: “The only diapers exempt from taxation should be those intended for elderly individuals.”
The man named Dombo probably watched that Salva Kiir clip but you will probably need four expired degrees from Makerere, Kyambogo, MUST and UCU to understand his brilliance.
The good thing you – yes, you reading this – probably have the expired degree since it has been dished out left, right and at Makerere.
Anyway, I had started a campaign against Dombo over what he uttered with the confidence of a UNRA engineer explaining the lifespan of a Dotcom road and the innocence of a child playing with a trail of urine in the sand when some guy told me “You Kakira man, Domboklat”.
I didn’t take offence because Umeme has offended me enough in the last few weeks. It was much later while mulling over the price of molokony under the Mvule tree at Main Street Primary School in Jinja City that it struck me that this chap wasn’t throwing Jamaican insults at me but alerting me to how close Dombo and Domboklat sound.
That is how the name Dombo conveniently upgrades itself into many forms. Of course, the most infamous beholder of the name will beg to differ and call it inconvenient and a downgrade. We don’t care.
At a grand scale, Dombo is closer to Dombolo with N. I swear I love the Congolese dance by the same name and JB Mpiana’s song, Ndombolo, is probably the sweetest shortest rumba hit ever produced.
The problem starts when you lower the decibel. From Dombo you will find yourself beating dombola or kadombola. A jerry can. And these items, when empty, make noise.
Where Dombo grew up, empty dombola would be propped between sinewy thighs by village drummers to entertain those spinning boreholes. A lot of virginity was lost to Dombola sounds. And then babies were born. And then the babies needed diapers on the backdrop of more dombola drumming.
Probably explains why the man seems not to like babies. Now, since he is entitled to his dombola sounds, we can only appreciate him – good or bad.
The truth is that disposable diapers should be taxed. They are luxurious items that make some parents floss around that they have money when they should be using nappies and banana fibres.
The truth is that keeping babies comfortable is a very extravagant privilege and I don’t know how we had to wait for a mere dombola to tell the nation this.
If we give Dombo a little more time, he will probably discover that one of the problems with diapers is that it makes mothers carry their babies around without worrying that their poop will spill over or stink.
Per Dombo excellence, we need to drag mothers back to that time when they went to public and a trail of flies followed to feast on the stench from their babies. I mean, Dombo is an animal rights activist and he loves houseflies.
Either this or he has a banana fibre nappies factory somewhere and he isn’t happy that diapers are running him into inflation.
Disclaimer: This is a parody column