Forget about casting the first stone, let he without sin just wait for his

My colleague got robbed on the eve of writing this column. His house was broken into as he slept, his camera and work laptop, stolen. 

All of us were grateful that at least, he hadn’t been assaulted, injured or even killed by the attacker – whom he actually had the temerity to run after. 
Later in the evening when I called to find out how he was holding up, he said something that hit hard. “You know how it is, you investigate and then call police to arrest.”

My first memorable encounter with the police was when I was a student at university. Every Thursday was ‘Rock Nite’ at Steak-Out, perhaps the most popular at the time. 

You would see throngs of university students trekking through Wandegeya, to Lumumba Avenue, where they would oscillate between Steak-Out and Blue Haze – all night. 

This one Thursday night, a friend showed up with a ride, so we didn’t have to take bikes or walk there. Whether it was youthful impudence or just road ignorance, we got onto the one-way Lumumba Avenue from the wrong side.

We realised the folly of our decision immediately after, when we were flagged down by a police patrol truck. After we had parked on the side, an officer walked over to ask why we were on the wrong side of the road. We apologized and pleaded but he wasn’t having it. Eventually, he said that since it was a grave traffic offense, we should fine ourselves and go on to enjoy the rest of the night.

We pleaded for lenience, reasoning that we didn’t have any money to fine ourselves with. “But you are going to the bar to enjoy yourselves,” he responded. We replied that our “sponsor” hadn’t arrived yet so we didn’t have much to give, apart from a miserly Shs5,000, that the four of us could collect amongst ourselves. It was the truth.

“Okay, I can take that for our commander at the front,” he replied. “But as you can see, we are many on the pickup. What am I going to tell the others?”
One of us then casually mentioned that all we had left was the “TV chicken” we had just bought in Wandegeya. We planned to share it for dinner, as we waited for our sponsor. “Oh! That’s what is smelling nicely?” he asked. We didn’t think he would actually take the chicken – but I guess we had underestimated his hunger; or was it greed (pun)?

“Okay. Bring the chicken. I will share it with my friends.” We were stunned, because nobody expected that it would end that way. Long story short, we fed the Uganda Police that night, and starved in return.

Being Uganda, that encounter could have ended in so many ways. Young hypermasculine boys in an altercation with the police, where one or several of them get(s) shot and killed. Errant driver gets fined or cautioned for minor traffic offense. Lawbreakers get arrested for trying to bribe policemen with grilled chicken. In fact, I am not sure if it ended as a story of corruption or if it was extortion. 
Bottom line is, the fact that all these options are on the table should tell you that something just isn’t right.
You think this is about the police? It isn’t! The thief who breaks into your house probably knows he won’t get arrested because in some instances, police is complicit, and in most, inept. 
If your fight is against a connected someone then start licking your wounds. 

Let’s say you need urgent medical attention in a public hospital, you better be able to make a call and say “Gamba Nogu” (speak to this one) or carry enough to buy attention. If you get stuck in traffic, you can drive on the wrong side of the road, depending on the color of your number plates. 

If you are a lowly officer, you can shake down students and desperate fellows for their chicken or small bribes as you wait for your turn to go up the ladder and eat big like your superiors. Consequently, the message becomes that everyone must find their way around the law and that those who are compliant owe it to the lack of opportunity offend. If this isn’t bedlam!

Mr Rukwengye is the founder, Boundless Minds. @Rukwengye